What is Our Purpose?

Artist: Itokashi

I saw this on Facebook (thank you, Princess).

I’ve believed this for many years. Even when living in difficult circumstances and not-so-desirable surroundings, I knew I was there for a purpose. He must have a reason for placing me, at this point in time, among these people.

I do believe He ordains our moments. And, in that, He must be concerned about those who cross our paths. I think He does as He wills among the inhabitants of the earth and He is greatly concerned for our well-being and character development (Psalm 139; Dan 4:35; Psalm 33:14; 1 Pet 5:7; Psalm 55:22; James 1:2-4; Hebrews 12:6; 1 John 4:20).

These beliefs lead me to understand I am not to live for self.

I am not here for me.
I am here for Him.

He leads me down the path He desires.
He determines the people who will cross my path.
How, then, am I to live?

In love.
With love.
Through Love.

The waitress with the attitude?
The neighbor with the pit bulls?
The friend asking, once again, for money?

How am I to live with all who cross my path…and with those He has placed in my life…for a lifetime…for a season…or…only…for a moment.

With kindness.
With patience.
With humility.

Without arrogance.
Without rudeness.
Without counting faults.

With grace…
For the moment
And a lifetime.

Bearing.
Believing.
Hoping.
Enduring.

ALL. THINGS.

It seems outrageous.
It’s too much to ask.
It’s more than any of us can do.
On our own.
But, in Him…

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

It’s called Love.
God, in me,
Loving others, through me.

Oh, what a purpose-filled life!

Can’t Schedule Mourning

That’s what he said to me … last night …
He was visibly shaken, struggling to keep his temper.

After a few words, neither of us will soon forget, he said, “I guess you can’t schedule mourning.”

“No.  You can’t,”  I responded …
“When it chooses to come, feel it.
Don’t stuff it, or you’ll never get past it.”

I cried until the pain came.  I let it pound inside my head, wondering how to relieve his …

And then … I went looking for answers … again …

A man’s steps are directed by the LORD.
How then can anyone understand his own way?
~Proverbs 20:24

What hurts most?
Watching them grieve.
Seeing the pain in their eyes.
Hearing the hurt as he says, “I don’t pity you.”

God, please …
Touch their pain.
Heal their hurt.
Help them forgive.

I do want to move on, but, I get it.  I do …

… you can’t schedule mourning …

When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
It will become a place of refreshing springs,
Where pools of blessing collect after the rains …
Psalms 84:6

Please, lead us beside still waters …

Why Did It Happen?

I found this information very helpful…you might, too:

What is it about finding out that your partner is having an affair that unlocks the floodgates of emotion; emotions so strong and intense that they seem foreign and often disturbing even to those who experience them? Most would say it’s the betrayal, the deception and the humiliation that catapults them into an emotional abyss where feelings of despair and sadness alternate with feelings of anger and rage.

And even when the shock subsides, the focus of people’s thoughts remains on the sexual act mainly because it exemplifies the violation of a sacred trust between two people who have made a commitment to each other.

Is it an uncontrollable sex drive, weak mindedness, or too much to drink that leads a person into the arms of another? This question is asked many times by those who struggle to make sense of “why did he (or she) do it?” And while it is deserving of an answer, it behooves the person asking the question to consider that extramarital affairs have less to do with sex and more to do with unmet needs. This is not to minimize the gravity of what has occurred or down playing the pain caused by the partner who has gone outside the relationship. Instead, it is meant to point out that the dynamics of an affair, especially those with a history, are complex and go far beyond the sexual act.

extramarital affairs have less to do with sex and more to do with unmet needs

To understand what has happened, to be able to assess the viability of a relationship (if that is still an option), and do what it takes to move on in life, a good place to begin is in understanding the notion of intimacy and how it plays out in relationships.

Intimacy is the unique bond between two people that links them together emotionally, spiritually and sexually. The meshing of these elements forms the cornerstone of a monogamous relationship and explains in part, its distinctiveness to the human species. It also explains why its absence foretells non-exclusivity, suggesting that successful and healthy relationships require more than sex to function.

It is the feeling of connectedness that forms the basis of intimacy making it possible for relationships to grow and sustain the challenges that are often brought on by stress, illness, and work and family problems. Intimacy is the glue that holds relationships together taking over when the intense passion of a new relationship transforms into a more enduring union based on common values, love and commitment.

The feeling of connectedness … makes it possible for relationships to grow and sustain the challenges that are often brought on by stress …

For intimacy to develop and be sustained, a person must feel valued, cherished and respected by their partner. These feelings signify equity and balance in a relationship and secure the bond between the partners. Equally important is the need for effective communication of these feelings because without it, a rift can develop. If not reversed, the link between partners is at risk of being lost. Thus the greatest threat to intimacy is not exposure to attractive people of the opposite sex, but the inability of a couple to feel and communicate their connectedness to each other.

The circumstances that contribute to the fracturing of the intimate bond are diverse but most often involve transferring emotional energy that was once directed toward the relationship to other sources such as career, children, outside interests and friends. While good relationships can weather temporary emotional absences, if they go on indefinitely, they too will suffer. Under these conditions people may reconnect emotionally and spiritually with someone outside of their relationship by once again fulfilling their needs for acceptance and understanding. Relationships such as these often begin benignly but may later evolve by becoming sexual. This pattern is most typical of “affairs of the heart,” affairs that pose the greatest threat to the primary relationship.

So while sex may be the object of a partner’s scorn, it is really the breakdown of communication and the ultimate severing of a bond that once existed that is really at stake. In essence, the betrayal that is attached to sexual infidelity may have already occurred long before on an emotional and spiritual level. Thus, while it may be one partner who strays outside the relationship, the responsibility for making it work remains the responsibility of both. And while a person may claim that he or she was blind to anything in his or her partner’s behavior that may have signaled a breach in intimacy, this in itself suggests that he or she is out of touch with the respective needs of each other.

The effects of affairs can be devastating and there are no quick and easy fixes to repair the damage. However, if both partners are motivated, then patience, honesty and the skills of a professional can help the couple explore whether it is possible to reconstruct what once existed.

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Article from Reena Sommer Ph.D, author of The Anatomy of An Affair -

Copied from WomansDivorce.com. Read more at: http://www.womansdivorce.com/causes-of-marital-affairs.html#ixzz2PK0vLY1Y

Gaining Proper Perspective

The Grace of Catastrophe

After seeing my favorite opera on the Big Screen yesterday,  “Les Miserables,” I have been singing Fantine’s song and thinking of Jean Valjean’s choices in life.  I read Les Miserables while taking a Humanities course in college.  I fell in love with Jean Valjean, if it’s possible to love a fictitious character.  He is a type of Christ, being willing to step into our mess and carry us through to life (think sewer scene here).  So many fantastic metaphors in that story!  No wonder, outside of the Bible, we’re told Les Miserables is the next favorite story of God’s redemptive power. 

It brought to mind this article I’d bookmarked months ago.  What happens when life becomes messy?  Does grace cover catastrophe?  Oh, yes!  Read on, if you need some insight. THIS is what we can learn, if willing, through the messiness of life:

Life in the Midst of Mess

Jan Winebrenner

What We Really Believe

A. W. Tozer wrote, “The difference between a great Christian life and any other kind lies in the quality of our religious concepts . . . i.e., what we think of God, what we believe about Him.”

Nothing so challenges us to examine what we believe about God like catastrophe.

That our idea of God corresponds as nearly as possible to the true being of God is of immense importance to us. . . . Often only after an ordeal of painful self-probing are we likely to discover what we actually believe about God.

We face difficulty, and we have to ask:
Do we really believe God is strong and faithful?
We face pain and illness, and we wonder:
Is He as good as I’ve always been told to believe?

Death comes, and weeping, and we ask: Is heaven a reality? Is prayer effective? Does God really hear? The struggles and disasters of our lives prompt us to ask these questions, and dozens more. Every tragedy, every crisis, offers us this:

It can be a means of grace—an instrument used by God by which we can cease floating passively on all manner of external attractions. It is by the grace of catastrophe that people sometimes come to themselves and see what is before them as if for the first time. Catastrophe can, like a mighty wind, blow away the abstracting veils of theory and ideology and enable our own sovereign seeing.  ~Eugene Peterson

It is the testimony of the ancients, as well as contemporary saints, that the greatest lessons of faith have been learned against the backdrop of suffering. The theology we say we believe takes root in soil watered by tears and bears fruit in lives characterized by peace and righteousness, lives that delight in the person of God Himself.

The “grace of catastrophe” comes through in places where our theology is tested, our faith forged, our knowledge of God made personal and practical, and our love for Him impassioned.

On the Brink

John Piper wrote, “Every moment in every circumstance we stand on the brink between the lure of idolatry and the delight of seeing and knowing God.”

Our stance is never more precarious than when we are in pain
—any kind of pain.
The voice of God whispers in our souls, “Love Me, worship Me, trust Me.”

But His soft words are hard to hear over the raucous voices in our culture and in our own hearts—voices that shout at us to berate God, to ignore Him and move on in search of other comforts, if there be any—any that don’t wear off after a few minutes or hours.

Still, Jesus calls us to come close, to cuddle in His love and rest in the certainty of His goodness and His sovereign power. He invites us to take comfort in all that He has promised to be to us—savior, friend, healer, lover.

This is the challenge we face with each day as we step out into life.

Will we seek God and take our refuge in Him
when our path is littered with broken dreams?
Or will we turn elsewhere?

We have only these two options when catastrophe strikes. If we choose God, then catastrophe becomes for us a special grace-gift, ushering us into the place where we can experience God in ways we never before imagined. We find ourselves poised on the brink of life’s greatest discovery:

that God is the ultimate presence in the universe, and that knowing Him, interacting with Him, by faith, is more satisfying, more exhilarating than anything the human heart ever hoped for or imagined.

(Go here to read more…)

O Holy Night

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

A Christmas Prayer by Max Lucado:

Dear Jesus,

It’s a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.

These killings, Lord.  These children, Lord.  Innocence violated.  Raw evil demonstrated.

The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?

Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas.  But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod’s jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty.  Dark with violence.

Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.

Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won’t you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.

This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,

Your Children

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Amazing Grace

How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me…

Going to Hell with Ted Haggard

I once was lost but now I’m found…was blind, but now I see.

It’s a powerful article.
Hope you’ll read it.