“I’m learning the insidious ways of denial.
For myself, I’ve needed to believe I was ‘good’ and did not recognize my ability to fall.
To see my depravity, up close and personal…ugh.”
~Me…from an old comment thread
Maybe it’s a need we all have, to believe we’re better than we are.
To hide from the disappointment and shame of living on this side of Genesis 3.
Our ability to self-deceive is frightening.
Most of the time we don’t even know we’re doing it.
We blame others for the sin in our own lives.
Or, we hide behind coverings of our own making.
The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick;
Who can understand it?
To begin to see the motivations of the heart is to take a frightening journey into the inner workings of the soul.
Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.
~Proverbs 4:23 (NASB)
The springs of our lives flow from the heart.
If the heart is deceived and desperately sick, how can the source of our lives be clean?
A spring does not pour out fresh water and bitter water from the same opening, does it? ~James 3:11
Above all else, guard your heart,
For it affects everything you do.
~Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
The world tells us to follow our hearts.
“If it feels good, do it.”
But our hearts are the problem!
We want what we want when we want it,
and we’ll stop at nothing to get it.
I speak from experience…
No one wants to feel pain day-in-and-day-out. We search for something to satisfy. Food. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Relationships. Success. Video games. Clothes. Busyness. Anything to make the pain go away for awhile…
We tell ourselves it’s nothing. It won’t hurt to indulge…just a bit. And before we know it, we’re: obese, alcoholics, addicted to pornography, promiscuous, in an affair, climbing the corporate ladder, walking over anyone to get to the top, spending hours in front of a screen in a fantasy world, buying more and more things to look better, staying busy with anything to stave off the pain…instead of looking for Real Life.
This is the state of our being since the Fall.
We all live on the other side of Genesis 3.
Then the eyes of both of them opened, and they knew they were naked;
so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Have you ever seen what happens to a leaf when it dries out? That shriveled-up crunchy thing can’t cover nothin’! So what do we do? We gather more and more leaves and sew together our “covering” every day – maybe many times a day — so people can’t see how very naked we are.
Our “coverings” won’t work.
They are only shriveled-up leaves.
Then…they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
We are cowering behind leaves as we hide from…
What is it we are hiding from?
Our self…each other. The memories…the shame.
And…The Only One who can help us.
They heard the sound of the LORD God …
and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God …
Are you hiding?
Are you ashamed when thoughts come to mind?
Is your covering not really covering anything?
Our hearts are deceptively wicked.
We need new hearts.
We need a perfect covering.
“If you only knew the gift God has for you
and who I am,
you would ask Me, and I would give you living water.”
Do you want a new heart…one that has clean water pouring forth?
Do you desire The Living Water of God?
Do you want Jesus?
Here’s a prayer of repentance you can pray.
He is faithful and just and will forgive you of all your sins.
He will give you a new heart.
Have mercy on me, O God, because of Your loyal love!
Because of Your great compassion, wipe away my rebellious acts!
Wash away my wrongdoing!
Cleanse me of my sin!
For I am aware of my rebellious acts;
I am forever conscious of my sin.
Against You – You above all – I have sinned;
I have done what is evil in Your sight.
So You are just when You confront me;
You are right when You condemn me.
Look, I was guilty of sin from birth,
a sinner the moment my mother conceived me.
Look, You desire integrity in the inner man;
You want me to possess wisdom.
Sprinkle me with water and I will be pure;
wash me and I will be whiter than snow.
Grant me the ultimate joy of being forgiven!
May the bones You crushed rejoice!
Hide Your face from my sins!
Wipe away all my guilt!
Create for me a pure heart, O God!
Renew a right spirit within me!
Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst;
but the water that I will give him will become in him
a well of water springing up to eternal life.