It always hung in our bedroom.
From our first apartment to our last home I used my exquisite wedding veil as a focal point in our sacred, holy place. A hand-made gift of tatting lace with our names and the date of our wedding, alongside our wedding picture, completed the memorial. Throughout our years it was a special place in our home. Many days through many years I lingered by the picture, fingering the embroidery on the veil. Remembering…
Seeing how young we were and so completely inexperienced in life, the photographer captured our joy laced with hope. My best friend played Debussy and my sister sang, “Savior, Like a Shepherd, Lead Us.” My grandfather led us in our vows to one another.
We. meant. every. word.
After the divorce I had no idea what to do with the veil or my dress. I strongly doubted my daughter would ever want to use them; nevertheless, I couldn’t give them away. I still loved Phat. Even after all that was said and done, I knew I would always love him.
Feelings come and go. Love is a choice.
Noticing how dusty the veil had become, I gently washed it by hand. As I did the lace began to fall apart, disintegrating as I pulled it out of the sudsy water. Once I realized what was happening I quickly laid it on a towel and began blotting it dry. I wondered if the tears would ever stop flowing…
When I found my little house and decided to buy it, I had another bedroom to decorate.
I remembered my tattered veil, folded away, as I began calling myself the names I knew I deserved.
That’s when it all came together.
That’s when God spoke to my heart.
He stopped me … (thank You, Lord, for stopping me).
Gently, He told me that I am His bride.
Lovingly, He reminded me that I am redeemed.
Tenderly, He guided me to His word.
I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine!
For the LORD has called you,
Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit…
O troubled one, storm-crushed, uncomforted!
See, your stones will be framed in fair colours,
and your bases (foundations) will be sapphires.
Above the surface over their heads was what looked like a throne
made of blue sapphire.
And high above this throne was a figure
whose appearance was like that of a man.
The One sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones
––jasper and carnelian.
And the glow of an emerald circled His throne like a rainbow.
I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Therefore, we who have fled to Him for refuge can take new courage,
for we can hold on to His promise with confidence.
This confidence is like a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.
It leads us through the curtain of heaven into God’s inner sanctuary.
This hope we have as an anchor of the soul,
a hope both sure and steadfast
and one which enters within the veil.
My tattered veil became a garment of salvation…literally. Through His restoration and assurance of eternal love, I understood I needed to create a symbol of my Heavenly Bridegroom and of His covering for me. I adorned the veil with crystals of emerald and sapphire. I created a bow of colors just like the one I imagined encircling His throne. And now, every night before I go to sleep, I look up at my wedding veil. My once tattered veil. And, I envision the beauty of the One who has loved me without condition.