The Pygmalion Effect

I don’t feel proud…anymore.  I may look it (been told that my whole life), but I don’t feel it.  I think the proud look comes from charm school.  😯

You laugh? 
I’m serious.  😐

I can’t remember how old we were.  I think I was eleven and my sister was twelve.  I believe it was before junior high…?  No, I was not a debutante, but my mom did want us to learn how to sit, stand, and walk properly. I remember learning introductions, table settings, and proper gift-giving etiquette. Actually, I didn’t mind charm school. It was only a couple of weeks during the summer and I was very much a girly-girl. But, my sister…I think she hated it.

And yes, this was the old “Pygmalion effect” at its best. High expectations for high achievement. It worked. My sister and I are very high achievers. Another glimpse into our performance-oriented upbringing. Another way to measure ourselves from the outside.

Of course, these things aren’t wrong as far as making a good first impression goes or when needing to be on stage.  But to live life this way…to believe the outside is more important than taking care of the inside…again…self-righteousness…duty before devotion…

Some say (how’s that for being vague?)… Some say growing up in a performance-based religion is the root of many nervous/depressive conditions.  A toxic faith poisons the spirit. 

“All of us would like to enjoy a healthy spiritual life. But the sad truth is that many of us, and many churches today, are barren because of hazardous additives. We have believed a different gospel—one laced with legalism, performance-based religion and salvation by works—when Christ alone is our only source of life.

Jesus Himself referred to these toxins as “the leaven of the Pharisees” (Luke 12:1). He told us that the Pharisees’ brand of religion, which looked good on the outside, was deadly—and contagious.

Have you been infected? You can take your own pH test by examining these…characteristics of a religious spirit.

~A religious spirit views God as a cold, harsh, distant taskmaster rather than an approachable, loving Father. When we base our relationship with God on our ability to perform spiritual duties, we deny the power of grace. God does not love us because we pray, read our Bibles, attend church or witness, yet millions of Christians think God is mad if they don’t perform these and other duties perfectly. As a result they struggle to find true intimacy with Jesus.

~A religious spirit places emphasis on doing outward things to show others that God accepts him. We deceive ourselves into believing that we can win God’s approval through a religious dress code, certain spiritual disciplines, particular music styles or even doctrinal positions.

~A religious spirit develops traditions and formulas to accomplish spiritual goals. We trust in our liturgies, denominational policies or man-made programs to obtain results that only God alone can give.

~A religious spirit becomes joyless, cynical and hypercritical. This can turn a home or a church completely sour. Then, whenever genuine joy and love are expressed, this becomes a threat to those who have lost the simplicity of true faith.

~A religious spirit becomes prideful and isolated, thinking that his righteousness is special and that he cannot associate with other believers who have different standards. Churches that allow these attitudes become elitist—and dangerously vulnerable to deception or cult-like practices.

~A religious spirit develops a harsh, judgmental attitude toward sinners, yet those who ingest this poison typically struggle with sinful habits that they cannot admit to anyone else. Religious people rarely interact with nonbelievers because they don’t want their own superior morals to be tainted by them.

~A religious spirit persecutes those who disagree with his self-righteous views and becomes angry whenever the message of grace threatens to undermine his religiosity. An angry religious person will use gossip and slander to assassinate other peoples’ character and may even use violence to prove his point. Jesus, in fact, warned His disciples: “There will even come a time when anyone who kills you will think he’s doing God a favor” (John 16:2, The Message).”  ~J. Lee Grady

Still working on peeling back the layers of legalism…

Moving Past Legalism

I asked my oldest son to listen to my last post, “Orthopraxy.” He decided I needed to write a book on how grace became real to me. That seems huge and slightly boring.

Okay…a LOT boring. But he did make me think.

The first time I heard someone tell me I needed to give myself a healthy dose of grace was when I requested a psychiatric evaluation from Dr. Frank Minirth. You see, I had burned out from giving, giving, giving to the church.  I didn’t know how to say no and didn’t want to disappoint God.  If He was opening the door for so many opportunities, wasn’t I to walk through? 

Now I know, I had an underlying belief not based upon scripture: I must prove my love for Him.  My upbringing would not allow me to rest.  I thought my good works were proof of my commitment.   I would do whatever I imagined He asked without complaint.  I would be poured out as a drink offering just like Paul. 

Can you hear unrealistically high expectations and the personal severity in those sentences? 

I felt I must prove…I was not allowed to rest…I would do whatever…I would be poured out… 

I got in the way. Perfectionistic legalism had been my taskmaster, and although I’d learned the truth of His word, I didn’t understand how my sense of duty was getting in the way.

Duty before devotion leads to legalism and self-righteousness. 

But His yoke is easy and His burden is light. All who are weary and heavy-laden are to come to Him and find rest for their souls.

He became our sacrifice because the Law (the list of rules) could NOT save us. 

If I believed His sacrifice was enough, then why was I trying to add to it?  If I return to orthopraxy (right living for salvation) I have trampled on the blood of Christ.  I’m trying to add to a work which is complete.  Perfect.  Once for all.

“But, Michelle,” you ask, “aren’t we told to do good works?”

Yes.  We are.  The ones He’s prepared beforehand that we should do.  NOT the ones we imagine we are to do to gain kudos from Him.

Some works are completely from the flesh and others are from the Spirit.  Only those works which are from the Spirit will make it through the fire at the Judgment Seat of Christ.  The works from the flesh will be burned like wood, hay, or straw.  If I can pat myself on the back for what I believe I’ve done for Him, that’s all the kudos I’m going to get.  The works of the Spirit may not even be discernible this side of heaven.  Sometimes they appear so good to those of us who only see flesh, we imagine we’re doing wonderful things for God.  But the motives, which only God sees, will be revealed.

Before, I was taking the work on myself, imagining I was causing Jesus to be happiest with me.  Hoping He would love me more, because I wasn’t really sure His love extended to me.  And when I couldn’t do it (keep up the work) anymore, I felt I had let Him down.  And now what would I do???

Trust His work, not mine…

Orthopraxy

A definition: Orthopraxy is a term derived from Greek (ὀρθοπραξις) meaning “correct action/activity”, and is a religion that places emphasis on conduct, both ethical and liturgical, as opposed to faith or grace etc. This contrasts with orthodoxy, emphasizing a correct belief, and , the use of rituals…(as opposed to “orthodoxy”) an emphasis on correct practice rather than correct belief.

I grew up in the holiness tradition which meant living a life of holiness (defined as perfection) was first and foremost. Our salvation was proved by how “good” we appeared. (If you haven’t yet wondered about the heresy in that sentence, you may need to read it again.) It may not have been the original intent of the church’s teaching, but that is how it was practically lived out.

We looked on the outward appearance to determine if someone was truly “saved.” We were fruit-inspectors and modern-day Pharisees.

Let me show you how this was played out in my life:

Around the age of 10-11, I had spent Sunday afternoon at a friend’s house. I didn’t have time to change before the evening service (yes, that was in the day we counted church attendance as “proof” of our devotion). Still wearing my jeans and tennis shoes, and knowing how wrong it was for me to walk into the sanctuary for service without my Sunday best, I asked if I could speak to the pastor.

I explained my plight, feeling fully ashamed of my predicament.  But there was no need to worry, his plan put me at ease.  If I would sit on the back pew during the service and leave as soon as the final prayer was being said, it might be okay.  But please, don’t let it happen again. 

I dutifully did as he suggested, feeling hot with embarrassment (read: shame) as the congregants came in to worship.

Another example:

My grandfather was a smoker and a drinker. Consequently, he was not “saved” in light of the church’s orthopraxy. When I was eight years old, he passed away. I grieved for many years wondering if he had made it to heaven. The only hope I had was his dying request for the 23rd Psalm to be read.  And my memory of how loving he was toward me.

I was a bad girl. I was loud. I was curious. I was playful. I was nasty (sexually molested — although that was not believed at the time). I was a crybaby. I was stupid.  I even tried to smoke…once. But I was very careful not to cuss and always ALWAYS talked about my love for Jesus.

I determined to live holy around the age of eleven. I decided to give my life completely over to the Lord and follow His rules thereafter. I would be good! (read with gritted teeth)  Even if I died trying!!!

And I thought I was.  For many many many many many many … years.

I played the role very well. 
I looked the part. 
I even home-schooled.  
I was good.
I was a Pharisee.

I’m not so good anymore. Truly. By my “outward appearance” you might wonder if I’m really saved.

I’ve done some bad things:
I smoked this year.
I’ve had a few drinks.
I’m only in church once a week, and that’s not even on Sundays.
And God knows, I’ve cussed more than people have even heard.  😯
I’ve done stuff.

But do you know what?  I’m saved.  I know I’m His.  And He is mine.

I know Him better today than I did yesterday. 
I understand, by experience, things I’d only taught before.

I can confidently state:
For by grace I have been saved through faith.
I haven’t done anything to earn salvation.  It’s God’s gift.
Where my sin abounds, His grace abounds more.

Sunday’s Sermon

G od’s
R iches
A t
C hrist’s
E xpense

F orsaking
A ll
I
T rust
H im

Faith is no better than the object in which you place it.
Weak faith in God is better than strong faith in anything else.

Faith in faith is positive thinking.
Faith in Christ is salvation.

As the Scripture says,
“Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame.”
~Romans 10:11

For by grace you have been saved through faith;
and that not of yourselves,
it is the gift of God.
~Ephesians 2:8

A personal note:

Yes, I know it’s the essence of the message most of my readers have heard their whole lives.  It seems  old…almost cliche.  But it’s not.

It’s the truth we need to cling to every. single. day. of our lives.  We ALL need grace to make it.  And only trusting in Him…not good works, not careers, not family/friends, not denominational ties…not sacrificial acts done in His name…not perfect church attendance or staying above whatever vice taunts you…nothing will bring you salvation except trusting in Him.

Just thinking on the simplicity of it all.

I am the wretch the song refers to…

Amazing Grace!

I See God in Art

The purpose of life … hmmmm…?

“Life” in the strictest sense is God Himself. And His purpose? … just to be.

I am so grateful for that. I cannot wrap my brain around how or why or where or anything (my brain cannot fathom never beginning), but I do know His purpose is to be I AM.

Our lives? Hmmmmm I have thought about this.
Our existence? Because He wanted it.
Our weakness? Because that was the only way.

People who say that there was no sense of desire or want or need in God when He contemplated creating humanity (and indeed creation) simply do not understand the passion of a creator. Have you ever seen an artist? (you are one, I know) I mean the kind of artist who simply oozes their creativity. Who finds peace, enjoyment, fulfillment in simply being creative.

They (artists) are never thinking but they are examining the visual effect of one thing against another. They are never writing that their fingers don’t itch to doodle in the margins. They are never home, but they have to spend time in their studio. Does such a passion need to be expressed? Or does it simply want it so badly that it feels something is missing if it is not there?

You see, I see God in art. I see that every artistic and creative person in the world reflects the image of God in some manner. And these passions of design, architecture, invention, and beauty are not things which originated in the mind of man. God Himself is the ultimate Creator. He is oozing with design, art, invention, and creative ability. Would He have been satisfied with an existence void of that expression? Would an artist be satisfied being a financial accountant? Everything that exists, does so because it was created. Out of Him. We are His workmanship.

Yet in creating, He knew that everything He created could only be inferior to Himself. It was not possible for Him to create another being of exact measure as Himself. The only way He could create a family for Himself, was to infuse His exact nature into it. So God breathed into us His Spirit, and we became a living being.

It was always our design to have Him on the inside of us. Yet He knew we would fail. Only He Himself is capable of living up to the exacting measures of His holiness. So He had a plan. A marvelous, un-heard of plan to rescue us, and take our failure as His own, giving us His perfection instead.

This plan would fully demonstrate for all eternity the immenseness of His love. The plan was designed by love, created by love, carried out by love, fulfilled by love, and all things exist in and through love.

This is the story: We fail, but He redeems. We are broken, but He restores. We kill Him, but He raises Himself and us back to life. Our flaws are not the point. Our pains are never the end. Our sins, our sickness, our brokenness … are only the setting for the most wonderful display of love in the history of eternity.

For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison…
2 Corinthians 4:17

~A comment left here by Annie, over a year ago. 

Thank you, Sparkle, for speaking to me again…on this day after the memorial of His plan.

Love came down at Christmas.

Don’t Run Too Quickly

“Be open to looking at everything in your life. Don’t run too quickly from disturbing events and insights into an affirmation of your faith that’s more contrived than real. Let your mind explore the hard issues that provoke some really unsettling questions in order to provoke a more trusting awareness of Christ.”

~Larry Crabb, Inside Out

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
~Proverbs 3:5-6

The Vine Life

We moved into our house ten years ago. (Wow, time flies!)

I remember the first night lying in bed talking with Phat, “Can you believe we live here!?!” It was nothing fancy, but very well maintained. The owner didn’t have an eye for decorating or landscaping, but she did believe in having the best quality. So, although I had mega-plans to fix up the place, the bones were already there.

After stripping the kitchen of the old wallpaper (HUGE job!), I decided to paint and stencil. Ten years later I still love the color and design. I won’t be changing it anytime soon. Green on green with flowing vines and the scripture, “I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, shall bear much fruit.”

It’s a life-changing verse.
It’s the main point of life with Christ. 
Abiding…in The Vine.

“All of nature depends on hidden resources. The great trees send their roots down into the earth to draw up water and minerals. Rivers have their sources in the snow-capped mountains. The most important part of a tree is the part you cannot see, the root system, and the most important part of the Christian’s life is the part that only God sees. Unless we draw upon the deep resources of God by faith, we fail against the pressures of life…’I can–through Christ!’ was Paul’s motto.”

Philippians 4:13:
“I am ready for anything through the strength of the One who lives in me.” (JBP)
“I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power.” (The Living Bible)
“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (NASB)

“No matter which translation you prefer, they all say the same thing: the Christian has all the power within that he needs to be adequate for the demands of life. We need only release this power by faith….

For many years, Hudson Taylor worked hard and felt that he was trusting Christ to meet his needs, but somehow he had no joy or liberty in his ministry. Then a letter from a friend opened his eyes to the adequacy of Christ. ‘It is not by trusting my own faithfulness, but by looking away to the Faithful One!’ he said. This was a turning point in his life. Moment by moment, he drew upon the power of Christ for every responsibility of the day, and Christ’s power carried him through.

Jesus teaches this same lesson in the sermon on the vine and branches in John 15. He is the Vine; we are the branches. A branch is good only for bearing fruit; otherwise you may as well burn it. The branch does not bear fruit through its own self-effort, but by drawing upon the life of the Vine. ‘Without Me, you can do nothing’ (John 15:5). As the believer maintains his communion with Christ, the power of God is there to see him through. ‘I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency’ (Phil. 4:13, AMP).”   ~Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Joyful.

Abiding.
It’s the secret of the abundant life.  I placed it on the wall so I would be ever mindful…only in Him who gives me strength.
The Vine Life.

Those Gentiles!

That would be me.
Yes. I am a Gentile.
But, I always wanted to be Jewish.  However, God didn’t see it that way.
And since He is the one who determines who will be…and where…and when…
I’ll leave that alone.

Why, you ask, would I want to be Jewish? 

Who in their right mind would want to be Jewish with all the persecution they have endured throughout the ages?

Me.

Yes, me.  You  see, I understand God chose to reveal Himself to a people He set apart for His purpose.  He chose to work through the Jewish nation.  And to have that rich heritage, to be a part of a chosen people…not through conversion, but through birth…wow.  It’s always been a longing of my heart.

I believe the difference between Christian and Jew is the point of Christ. Jews do not believe Jesus is the Messiah. Christians do. It is that simple. And so, if I were Jewish I would have a better understanding of my Christian faith, by virtue of having learned the Law and the Prophets. The Exodus…the Tabernacle…the Feasts…so many beautiful types (pictures) of Christ are found in Jewish history and heritage.  Jesus is the fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets.  Jesus was Jewish.

At this time in History (His story), we are living under Grace, not Law. It is “the time of the Gentiles” as the New Testament describes the Church Age:  the time between Jesus’ life, death and resurrection all the way to “the Day of the Lord” — whenever that may be.

To understand life through the writers of the New Testament, it’s necessary to see that the Gentiles did not believe in One God.  They believed in a plethora of gods.  At that time in history only the Jewish people were monotheistic.

Paul describes the Gentiles this way:

So I say this, and insist in the Lord, that you no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding, being alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardness of their hearts. Because they are callous, they have given themselves over to indecency for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. ~Ephesians 4:17-19

Wow. Let me make this clear, in case it didn’t quite sink in:

Their thinking is futile.
Their understanding is darkness.
They are alienated from the life of God.
They are ignorant.
They have hard hearts.
They are callous.
They have given themselves over to indecency.
They want more and more and more of every kind of impurity.

If that is not the definition of “lost” then I’m not sure what is!

He’s talking about my ancestors and yours (unless, of course, you’re privileged to be Jewish).

But, Paul is also talking about anyone who does not, still, know God.
On this side of the cross, we ALL have a chance to know Him. 
He made a way, through His Son, for those of us who were far off from the promises of God to come near. 

We can partake of the goodness of God. 
We can know Him intimately. 
We can walk out of darkness and into light.

And the other point: Christians can live like that description, if we’re not careful. 

Paul said, “So I say this, and insist in the Lord, that you no longer live as the Gentiles do.” 

That may have been where we came from, but it’s not where we are anymore. 

Now, we have taken on the name of Christ. 
Now, we have obtained the life of God.
Now, we are to be walking in the light as He is in the light.

Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed.  The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.
~Romans 13:12-13

A Definition

Grace is not earned.  It’s given. 

We are poor in spirit. 
Nothing good dwells in us. 
We are hopelessly lost without a Savior.

Our poverty of spirit may be seen in the picture of a little girl (or boy) all alone and desperate for help.  She’s been used and abused.  She’s dirty and unable to do anything for herself.  Huddled in a corner of a brokendown alley with garbage scattered about, she’s afraid.  The relentless fear of what may be in the darkness keeps her cowered.  The fear feeds her soul.  She’s crying. Not loud sobs…those have come and gone.  But a steady stream of tears flow down her face as she realizes she can do nothing to save herself. 

Hungry, filthy, worn-out. 
Nothing to give.

BUT, God.

Rich in mercy, compassion, patience, forgiveness.
The epitome of LOVE personified.

But, GOD steps into the alley of despair.  He lifts up the poor child and carries her away.  He cleanses her.  He feeds her food she’s been desperate to eat.  Food which fills and restores her ravaged body.  He holds the child close and cares for her every need…never leaving her alone.

Grace bestowed.

Time’s A-Wastin’!

I was sleeping so well.  Completely relaxed and having wonderful dreams.  Happy to escape life through a few hours of slumber. 

It’s not a bad thing.  It’s necessary for survival…to rest…relax…regain strength.

However, too much of a good thing can turn to overindulgence. Moderation in all things, right?
The person who sleeps too much is also called lazy. 

I’ve been contemplating the words from Romans 13:

Pay all your debts, except the debt of love for others. You can never finish paying that! If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill all the requirements of God’s law.  For the commandments against adultery and murder and stealing and coveting––and any other commandment––are all summed up in this one commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Love does no wrong to anyone, so love satisfies all of God’s requirements.  

Another reason for right living is that you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for the coming of our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.  The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So don’t live in darkness. Get rid of your evil deeds. Shed them like dirty clothes. Clothe yourselves with the armor of right living, as those who live in the light.  We should be decent and true in everything we do, so that everyone can approve of our behavior. Don’t participate in wild parties and getting drunk, or in adultery and immoral living, or in fighting and jealousy.  But let the Lord Jesus Christ take control of you, and don’t think of ways to indulge your evil desires.

Another reason for right living is that you know how late it is; time is running out.
Wake up, for the coming of our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 
The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here.

Sleep allows us to put responsibilities on hold. Sure, I’ll take a nap when my body needs rest. But, sometimes, when I just want to quit thinking, I’ll catch 40 winks. It’s a great way to stop caring for a while, to give myself a break.

Sleep, in this passage, is much the same. It is spiritual apathy. It is possible to fall asleep in our journey of salvation.  We may choose to put “right living” on the shelf and clothe ourselves in darkness for a time, but Paul is calling the Roman Christians (and us) to wake up. To remember.

Remember, we are people of the day. The night is almost over and we need to be ready, clothed in the armor of right living.  As we’re sleeping we’re missing opportunities to be the light He’s called us to be.  If this weren’t the case, then Paul would not have needed to remind Christians to wake up. 

If you’re snoozing, don’t nap long. 
Time’s a-wastin’!

Wake up, O Sleeper!