Do not love the world or the things in the world… the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life.
You want to take a headlong dive into destruction?
Sow seeds of destruction and reap the devastation.
I sure wish I didn’t know what that looks like. I sure wish I had continued to walk the path of righteousness, even when the lust of the flesh appeared better than my temporary circumstances. I sure wish I had seen the devastation before I went sowing lustful seeds.
The real problem: I did see.
I had read The Word.
I knew what it said about the rewards of sowing to the wind. You will reap the whirlwind. You WILL.
And now… on this side of the whirlwind…? Not much remains of my former life.
Only by His grace do I still live. I’ve contemplated suicide quite a lot over the past five years. And, again, this past weekend.
You see, I have known my spiritual gifts are teaching and prophecy. And I spent much of my life teaching, speaking forth The Truth of God’s Word. Then, the hard tests of faith became so. much. harder. I closed the Book. I told myself I knew enough of what it said… the pit of depression had become so dark, I wouldn’t see the light right beside me… on the nightstand.
Either I forgot the warnings, or didn’t think they’d truly happen to me.
And now, another stands on the precipice… and he’s closing his eyes!
The questions haunt me once again:
What did I do?
Where did it start?
Why can’t he hear?
Who is this precious baby?
Where did he go?
My heart cries out to a deaf ear…
HE is NOT deaf. He hears. He has spoken.
Will he listen?
Oh, God, please don’t let him close The Book. Don’t let him forget what he’s learned. Speak boldly to his heart and mind. Don’t let him turn away!! Hold him fast. Let him stand on the Rock. Don’t let him sink into the muck of sin, the mire of filth.
Rescue my son!
Rescue us ALL.
Do not love the world nor the things in the world.
If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
For all that is in the world,
the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life,
is not from the Father, but is from the world.
The world is passing away, and also its lusts;
but the one who does the will of God lives forever.
~I John 2:15-17