Can’t Schedule Mourning


That’s what he said to me … last night …
He was visibly shaken, struggling to keep his temper.

After a few words, neither of us will soon forget, he said, “I guess you can’t schedule mourning.”

“No.  You can’t,”  I responded …
“When it chooses to come, feel it.
Don’t stuff it, or you’ll never get past it.”

I cried until the pain came.  I let it pound inside my head, wondering how to relieve his …

And then … I went looking for answers … again …

A man’s steps are directed by the LORD.
How then can anyone understand his own way?
~Proverbs 20:24

What hurts most?
Watching them grieve.
Seeing the pain in their eyes.
Hearing the hurt as he says, “I don’t pity you.”

God, please …
Touch their pain.
Heal their hurt.
Help them forgive.

I do want to move on, but, I get it.  I do …

… you can’t schedule mourning …

When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
It will become a place of refreshing springs,
Where pools of blessing collect after the rains …
Psalms 84:6

Please, lead us beside still waters …

7 responses »

  1. Thank you for commenting, Darla.

    You can not schedule mourning or healing, but both come.

    I’m holding onto that promise.

    I love you, too, Princess.

  2. What a timely post! My mom passed away a little over two weeks ago. In the flurry of activity in makng funeral arrangements, gathering family, and trying to keep people on task, the grieving and mourning hit. Thank the Lord – He was there with open arms!
    Blessings to you!

  3. Oh how painfully true this is. I attempted to schedule the mourning of Daddy’s death and it wasn’t until recently that I realized every decision, feeling, thought I’ve held has been entangled with my grief associated with his death so my scheduling did not go very well apparently. As someone very wise told me “grief is hell on earth.” I agree. But as you said, it’s not permanent, joy does come in the morning although the timing of that morning is never guaranteed. What is guaranteed is the peace and comfort of God. What a wonderful promise.

    Love you. Praying with you for healing, all around.

  4. Michelle, I am walking through something with a friend of mine (I blogged about it) and it is amazingly painful on both sides… I never realized before how both parties feel such pain and yet cannot see how the other is suffering (or in the wounded party’s eyes,the other isn’t suffering enough… if they only knew). And they are over a year past it without seeming to be past it at all. Sometimes I wonder how long it will take, but it is so true that you cannot schedule mourning or healing. I honestly don’t know if restoration of those relationships will come this side of heaven, but there is healing in Jesus. So very painful in the process though.

    And everyone is unique in their process. People like me take longer to feel things (I’m usually too busy taking care of everything rather than feeling) and often grieving is held off until much later, which can really complicate things for everyone else.

    Love you. HUGS and Prayers!

  5. Hey, Ayla…it’s good when we get to the place that we realize we’re broken, grieving people. Without it, I think, we pretend. The grief is hell of earth. 😉 And thank you, Jesus, it’s the only hell we’ll ever have to experience. No more tears…when we get to see Him face to face. I love you, Sweet Girl. Thanks for being so consistent in my life. 😀

    It’s really hard, Heidi, when others don’t believe you’re hurting enough. And so, unfortunately, they work to punish you more…seeming to think it’s appropriate…yuck! It’s been over a year for me and I’m still working through crud. But then, to think it should go faster when we were married for 28 years, well, …I don’t think that’s realistic. He knew me better than anyone else on this earth…and longer… Anyway, yeah. It’s good that you’re walking with your friend through the process. It helps to have insightful and loving people surrounding you, when grieving. I love you, Heidi…gotta come visit your blog…soon! 😀

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