Do you remember your first love? How excited you were to have someone you hoped would be with you forever? If you were anything like me, you made plans for the future and then tried not to think about the little things that might not be what you were hoping – the idiosyncrasies of the other. Not really looking at your own, but definitely seeing all of theirs.
In my mid-forties, I don’t think I’m intolerably critical anymore; I have developed past my teenage ways. But when you think you may want to live with someone for the rest of your life, you do tend to notice things, wondering if you can “take it” for a lifetime. Of course, once you’ve crossed that threshold into married life, you better have decided to stick it out for the long haul.
I heard once, the thing which attracts you to the person you married, more than likely, will be the thing that detracts you in later life. For instance, you may have thought the other was hilariously funny with all their joking ways, or incredibly insightful with their “realistic” view of life. Then come to find out the jokes were a way to avoid thinking seriously, or the realism was truly pessimism. Then what do you do? Give up and walk away, look past and hold fast, or recognize your own issues and grow in love toward the other.
Let’s look at TRUE LOVE –
- Love is patient.
- Love is kind.
- Love is not jealous.
- Love does not brag.
- Love is not arrogant.
- Love does not act unbecomingly.
- Love does not seek its own.
- Love is not easily provoked.
- Love does not take into account a wrong suffered.
- Love does not rejoice in unrighteosness.
- Love does rejoice with the truth.
- Love bears all things.
- Love believes all things.
- Love hopes all things.
- Love endures all things.
When I read that list…I just shut my mouth.
The “True Love” list is taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
(First published April 28, 2008)
Now… four-and-a-half years later…and a divorce which ripped me to shreds…what can I say? I read through this today, not at all remembering that I had posted it until I started reading the comments. (143 comments. Almost the record for “Consider Jesus”…lots of personal insight and iron sharpening iron in the thread. If you’re interested: True Love comment thread)
Again, what can I say? In retrospect it’s obvious I was already struggling…wondering where our personality differences would lead us. I had no clue what one more year would bring. I spoke of our love with such assurance (and possibly arrogance) that nothing would tear us apart. I spoke of Phat’s commitment to me as Christ loves the Church. However, the Church has not always been faithful, yet Christ remains so… None of us is perfect. None of us can do this thing called life without hurting one another. It’s inevitable as a result of the Fall. If we are not careful we will bite, devour, and even kill as a result of the sin which so easily entangles us. No one is immune. Some of us just think we are…and…therein lies our downfall.
The introspective one needs to see it’s possible now to stop trying to understand. As much as can be understood, on this side of the mirror, has been analyzed.
I screwed up.
He gave up.
And now…I can move on…?
And, I will.
Love never ends.
I still do love…
Always and Forever.