Perfect Peace

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It took me a year to admit what I had done to my family.

I admitted it to God, to my counselor, to a couple of close friends, but my family had no idea what had caused me to retreat further into myself.

The tension in the home, needless to say, was intense.  Finally, after thinking I might go crazy, I asked my husband if we could separate.  I needed time alone to think.  I needed to have a place where the constant stress of life wasn’t felt. After living in my self-imposed desert,  I needed an oasis to begin to rehydrate so my mind would clear.

I needed to think clearly…to hear from God…

And now, Phat knew why I felt the need to leave.  I confessed to committing adultery, but I wasn’t willing to end the friendship.  It took another five months of being alone to come to a place of submission to God’s will.  Many sleepless nights with demons screaming into my mind, I tried to see through the fog.
Today, I am so thankful for the truth of God’s word,

“He will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are stayed on Him.”

I knew many evil things could happen.
I knew my mind was under attack from the enemy.
I knew my world was falling away faster than I ever imagined it could.

He is El Shaddai, our All-Sufficient God.
In the darkest moments I cried out to Him and He heard my plea.
He showed me His sufficiency, His sustaining grace that will never end.

I truly could’ve lost my mind in those dark days.  I know how close to the edge I came.  Yet, He would not leave me alone for His promises are true.  His Word will be accomplished and He declares He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.  For His Name’s sake He will answer in the day of trouble.  He is my God and He came to my rescue.

Even though I lost my husband as a consequence of the sin I had committed, I did not lose my God…

He is an ever present help in time of need.
He will never leave me or forsake me.
He is the Comforter who comes and holds me together…forever.

It’s not my righteousness, but His, that endures.
It’s not my will, but His, that is accomplished.
It’s not my peace, but His, that will keep me…perfectly.

.He restores my strength
He leads me down the right paths
For the sake of His reputation.
~Psalm 23:3

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.
Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.

If you do this, you will experience God’s peace,
which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.
His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
~Philippians 4:5-6

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6 responses »

  1. I love you. You are a beautiful demonstration of the beauty of God’s love and forgiveness. So many have those same demons yet never face them, never take off the mask…and they never experience God. I have made more mistakes than I can count…but if I had to choose to do it again and not experience God…then I would do it again… =D Princess to Princess

  2. I hate that I’m so messed up, but I sure am glad to know God as I do now. It’s not theory anymore…I really do understand that He loves me unconditionally and that He will stay beside me when everyone else leaves. Well… not everyone, but mostly. :-/ Thanks for your encouraging words, Princess. Some days are still really tough, but I do know if I stay focused on Him, we’ll make it through. Love you much!! ♥ ♥ ♥

  3. Thank you so much for the comfort and encouragement you give us with this. Love and hugs to you, Michelle. May His grace wrap around you in beautiful ways today!

  4. Thank you, Debbie. His grace keeps me wrapped up.
    Seems to be the only way I can get out of bed…somedays…

    Even when the day isn’t “happy”, I find peace and joy in His presence.
    Love and hugs to you, Dear One.

  5. As I was reading I couldn’t help but praise God for how far He’s brought you. I remember two years ago when I prayed that prayer for you; that there would come a time that you would be able to share the truth so it could set you free and break the enemy’s stronghold of guilt and shame (he’s so good at that too but praise God we are victorious over him through His blood). Praise God that time has come and you are being set free. I know at times it doesn’t feel that way but our definition of feeling free is so different from God’s definition of being free.

    Continuing to walk with you…every . step . of . the . way

    XO

  6. Keep walking with me, please, Sweet Girl. Your consistent and loving encouragement, alongwith all the prayers, have helped to keep me strong. I know it’s His Spirit through you. I’m so thankful He has strengthened you to strengthen me. I love you! XO

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