Flowers of Mercy


It was time to go.
The night before I had confessed my greatest sin.
She gave me the book, as I was getting ready to leave. 

When Godly People Do Ungodly Things

I put it in my satchel and told myself I’d read it on the plane.
I did start it, but my seat mate was a bit too observant.
Shame’s tendrils began creeping in…

The word “Jezebel” was used early on in the book. 
I didn’t really want to think about the meaning of that word. 
“Don’t be a Jezebel!” flooded my mind.

The book went back into my satchel.

A year later I moved out to try and get my head together.  I did take the book with me, wondering if I’d have the courage to read it as I was re-evaluating my life.  In the meantime, I had come across a couple of bloggers who were willing to boldly tell their stories.  Sarah Markley and Serena Woods were open and honest about their choices, and were willing to share the ugly truth of the fallout from those choices.  I was living the fallout of mine…

I ordered Serena’s book, Grace is for Sinners.  As I read her story, she mentioned the Beth Moore book I had already pushed aside.  I did the next logical thing…pushing hers aside, I opened the book I had received a year earlier.  My heart and mind were now open to the reality of my sin

Needless to say, between the two books, I understood what I had done and how this could happen to a “good Christian wife and mother”.  Through the grace they bestowed, I knew there was a way back for me.

I’m an avid reader of Darla, Sarah, and Serena’s blogs. 
I know they are honest women who share God’s truth. 
The truth boldly spoken so I could hear…and learn.

In her most recent post, Serena states:

God lets evil plans form and emerge as they wreak havoc, only to thwart them and turn it into something that brings the beaten closer to Him. Evil exists, but ultimately answers to Him. Pain pierces, but only brings the broken closer to Him. Sin bulldozes blooming gardens only to make room for the flowers of mercy.

Everything answers to God. Everything has it’s time in the sun, it’s fifteen minutes (years?), but none of it has the last word.

No matter where your path has taken you, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what has been done to you, none of it gets the last word on your life. God does and He does what He says.  ~Serena Woods, “The Last Word”


Sin bulldozes blooming gardens
only to make room for the flowers of mercy.


8 responses »

  1. you know…that was a hard book for me to read too, but it really helped a lot, and exposed the enemy at his game…

    I adore you, we are sister princesses in Christ! Thanks for your kind words.

  2. That book was instrumental in getting me through the hows and whys. It was a tough read, but since she came at it from her own point of failure, I knew she was speaking grace.

    Thank you for continuing to be my friend…and speaking the hard truth.
    It’s good to experience unconditional love. 🙂

  3. Love you, Michelle. I’m so glad that He guided you to these women and the right books, the kind written with grace. God bless you and cover you today.

  4. Hi, Debbie. 🙂 I do hope in sharing some details, others may find help, too. And, grace. These women are brave to share as they have, and I certainly have reaped the benefits of their choices to be bold for Him. Love you, too, Lady!

  5. You know recently one of our pastors preached from 1 Peter and talked about the three step salvation process; we were sinners saved by grace; now we are constantly being saved day by day in our situations; and then we will experience the final salvation which is being in heaven with Him. He said that we need to be cautious of calling ourselves “sinners saved by grace” or we’ll always be stuck in that mentality that we’re sinners and not move to the “saint” piece which God clearly says we are once we receive Jesus as Lord and Savior. So I am making it a habit of saying “I am a saint who sins” rather than a “sinner saved by grace” so I can move from the sinner mentality to the saint mentality still keeping in mind that I will sin on this side of Heaven but that God is pruning and shedding me of my sin so that I can reach the ultimate level of sainthood when I am with Him in heaven.

    And how does that happen tangibly? We go through tests and trials once we are saved and God does that so He can reveal the impurities inside of us and bring our attention to them so we can confess them and He can deliver us from them. The response to God’s revelation and us confessing is so important in this process because until we recognize and confess those impurities God won’t move us towards change.

    Hope that makes sense in light of your post. Glad the women you mentioned spurred you towards recognizing and confessing your truth with transparency so that God may begin to move you towards change.

    Love and blessings.

  6. Hey, Ayla! I agree with your pastor, and believe all of these ladies would, too. We are definitely referred to as saints once we’ve entered into covenant with Jesus. And yet, we will still sin, this side of our final glorification. I understand the Bible to teach we are saved, sanctified, and glorified (those three phases of salvation of which your pastor speaks). Salvation is what Jesus did for the whole world on the cross, and when we believe in Him we receive His gift. Then, immediately, we are set apart for Him and the process of sanctification begins. The trials and tribulations are for our testing and maturing in Him. We will remain in this process until our final glorification, when we see Him face to face. Then, NO MORE SIN! Yaaaaaay!!

    I am so ready for That Day! I love you, too, Sweet Girl. And am so thankful for your continual love and support. You are truly the definition of sister, in Him. XO

  7. love you, miss you, wish we could share a cup of tea today or a glass of wine… Sweet Child of God! that is your label…Princess to Princess

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