“Nothing will deteriorate a relationship faster than denial.”
I found that quote in a book concerning disabilities. It hit me right between the eyes. I took the truth of it into my situation, forgetting all about the focus of the book. I asked myself these questions:
Do I have relationships that have deteriorated?
How have I been in denial concerning them?
Or, have they been in denial…?
Denial deteriorates our relationships.
Denial — the refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings.
Self-protection gone amuck.
A refusal to grant the truth of a statement.
Denial destroys relationship.
I can see places in my own life where denial has ruined relationship.
A refusal from me to acknowledge a painful reality.
A refusal from him to acknowledge my feelings.
A refusal from you to hear my thoughts…or vice versa…
A refusal to see truth from another’s perspective.
To choose not to hear another, because what I’m saying is more important.
To protect myself from others.
To NOT admit my own sin which has affected you.
A refusal to sacrifice my “rights” for yours.
“I refuse to see the situation as you see it.”
What does that do to the relationship?
It stops it.
It brings it up short.
Either, you must see for the both of you,
Or choose to overlook the other’s dismissal of you.
In either case you have denial — more lies — with which to deal.
I’ve learned through Celebrate Recovery to “own my stuff.”
I try not to put-off on others what I have done.
And, I try not to accept responsibility for what others have done to me.
It’s very hard, but necessary, to be honest with myself.
I desire to live in truth — not lies — any longer.
How ’bout you?
Purpose to see the truth.
Refuse to live in denial.
It will only kill relationship.
But exhort one another each day, as long as it is called “Today,” that none of you may become hardened by sin’s deception. ~Hebrews 3:13
May Your ear be attentive and Your eyes be open to hear the prayer of Your servant that I am praying to You today throughout both day and night on behalf of Your servants…I am confessing the sins…that we have committed against You – both I myself and my family have sinned. ~Nehemiah 1:6
When an individual becomes guilty with regard to one of these things (a past sin, even done in ignorance, which the individual has realized) he must confess how he has sinned. ~Leviticus 5:5 (italics mine)
The one who covers his transgressions will not prosper but whoever confesses them and forsakes them will find mercy. ~Proverbs 28:13
So confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. ~James 5:16
Above all keep your love for one another fervent,
because love covers a multitude of sins.
~1 Peter 4:8