Forty Days

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Forty days and nights of rain while waiting for the judgment of God to be complete.

Forty years wandering in the desert for the wicked generation to die.

Forty days in the wilderness to pray and fast before being tempted by Satan.

Forty days. 
Seemed like a good idea. 
A time of cleansing, possibly, for the next stage of life…?

I didn’t expect it to work as it did. 
I had a hidden agenda: 
A hope for what I wanted to hear. 

God had other plans.

I don’t know why I decided to do such a thing.
Desperation? Yeah. I was feeling desperate.
But also…I wanted to be sure I was hearing clearly from Him.

Not any other being but Him.

So I cut off communication from those who influence me the most.
Well, that was the plan anyway…
The other people have to cooperate for the plan to work.

But, even though the flesh didn’t obey,
As the flesh tends to do,
God still met me here.

He changed my thinking.
He changed my feelings.
He changed my will.

And now the next stage of life begins…

I’m still not sure what it will look like.
But, I do know I’m following where His Spirit leads.

Then Moses said,
“If You don’t go with us personally,
Don’t let us move a step from this place.”
Exodus 33:15

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4 responses »

  1. Michelle –
    I checked your blog after my boy mentioned seeing your boy on campus the other day. As I read some of the entries , I learned of all that has been going on in your lfe … I wish you had returned my calls over the past several months , so that I would have been able to pray for you throughout . Just know that I am praying for you – and the rest of your family – now . You are an intregal part of ” my story ” , as I testify about God’s call and leading in my life , and I love you .

  2. Hey, Michelle. I’m emailing…thank you for this word. (Msgs rarely make it to me…as you’ve learned throughout the years.)

    Love you much.

  3. Hi Michelle, it’s good to ‘see’ you again and to be able to read your thoughts and insights. I hope it was a blessed time for you with God, and it is wonderful to read how He met with you.

  4. Hey, Rain! Thank you for your kind words. It was a wrestling match that I hope I don’t have to go through again…but then…His will be done. He is faithful and uncompromising…

    I LOVE the picture you’ve posted with the thought of His unfailing love. (I’ll just make my comments for your blog over here! 😛 )

    Hope you have been well. Love you.

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