Trusting In Him


Sunday morning in the treetops with a pot of vanilla chamomile tea, my bible, and a new book.  It was a bit chilly so I snuggled in my green comforter and watched God blow the wind through the branches, rustling the leaves, reminding me of His majesty.  I spent most of my time in Psalm 31 and 32, letting the truth pour over me. 

His righteousness delivers me. 
His goodness overwhelms me. 
His loyal love keeps me. 

I will hide in His shelter.
I repent so times of refreshing may come.

I’ve experienced too many trials in the past four years. Way too many trials. The type of trials you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.  (Well, I hope you wouldn’t.) I’ve held strong through some, by the grace of God. And I’ve fallen in others, by His same grace. And now I’m seeking His face more.  Can we ever seek Him enough?

So many of us in blogland talk about being real, but don’t desire to share our struggles until we have them figured out. I am one of those many. I need more clarity before I speak, not wanting to give a false testimony and lead anyone astray by my foolish words.  I hope to be able to speak more freely when I understand better what He is teaching me.  Until then, I’m leaning on His words to bring me through these fires of testing. 

He has a plan and purpose for my life that I have yet to grasp (Jer. 29:11).  Someday I’ll see it as He does (1 Cor. 13:12).  When I stand before Him at the Bema Seat He will reveal to me what it was all about (2 Cor. 5:10).  At that time He’ll give me a white stone with a name written on it…a name He knows.  A name He will give to me, in that moment, to help make all things clear (Rev. 2:17).  I imagine my questions will be satisfied.  I believe it will be a moment of revelation like I’ve never experienced.  And I will “get” what it was He willed for me…all of those days ordained for me and written in His book before even one came into existence (Psalm 139).

For now, I still do see darkly. 
(Thank you, Jesus, it’s not dark to you.)   

But, I am trusting in Him. 
He promises to bring me to a complete end. 
He promises to confirm me blameless, in Him, on that day.

And may the Lord make your love grow and overflow to each other and to everyone else, just as our love overflows toward you.  As a result, Christ will make your hearts strong, blameless, and holy when you stand before God our Father on that day when our Lord Jesus comes with all those who belong to Him. 
~1 Thessalonians 3:12-13

He will keep you strong right up to the end, and He will keep you free from all blame on the great day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns.  God will surely do this for you, for He always does just what He says, and He is the one who invited you into this wonderful friendship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.  ~1 Corinthians 1:8-9

You were His enemies, separated from Him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now He has brought you back as His friends. He has done this through His death on the cross in His own human body. As a result, He has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault, if indeed you continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven…
~Colossians 1:21-23


12 responses »

  1. Thank you for this post. Blogging especially about spiritual matters is difficult, because it has to be real for us first, before it can have any effect let alone impact on others. When we allow the Lord to minister in our hearts, and we share those moments with our readers, we make our lives vulnerable…but in that place, Christ is able to flow through us as a conduit, and the glory ultimately returns to Him.

  2. Much respect & love for you, Michelle. You spend time with him in your own way until he makes things clear for you.

    BTW, I posted a video (The Cave) recently on my blog. Have you seen it? It should make you smile.

  3. Michelle, I’m so sorry to read about this really hard time you’re going through at the moment, and for the trials of the past four years.

    I hope that the solitude, the beauty around you, and these times with God, refresh you and give you strength and comfort.

    … Just to say, I love the atmosphere you describe here, for your time with God – vanilla and chamomile tea is one of my favourites too 🙂

    Lots of love xo

  4. This was beautiful for me Michelle. Real. I am sorry for the difficult times. How I wish people could take away each other’s pain. I just try to imagine the day of Glory when we will all look back and see clearly what we can’t see now.

  5. Is that group from New Zealand, Ric? Good song. 🙂 Thank you for mentioning it. And thanks for the encouragement. I’m not sure what else to do but keep looking to Him. I’m trusting in His promise to keep me…and grow me up, in Him.

    Vanilla chamomile tea is wonderful, Birg! The smell, the taste, it all works together bringing calm to my senses. (I think Mrs. Cottontail knew what she was doing.)

    For today the solitude and beauty has worked to bring peace of mind and has helped me see more clearly. I’m also reading Francis Chan’s book, Crazy Love. Very good read. Love you too, Birg. xo

    Thank you, Rain. I also want that day to come. When I lose focus, I stumble…sometimes…very hard. I still love that quote from C.S. Lewis you posted of how He comes along and cleans us up and sets us on our feet again. My hope is in Him. Nothing I do is of value, unless He is doing it through me. I see that now. And as far as being “sorry for the difficult times and wanting to take the pain away”…I get that. But honestly, now, I can begin to see His glory in the pain. Not every day, but today. That’s good, huh?

  6. “For now, I still do see darkly.
    (Thank you, Jesus, it’s not dark to you.)

    But, I am trusting in Him.
    He promises to bring me to a complete end.
    He promises to confirm me blameless, in Him, on that day…”

    Michelle, THANKS for these beautiful words of hope and encouragement! I ache over the things that bring heartaches and physical aches to you… how I wish I could reach for the “delete” key to all the things that bring tears to your eyes. (Still looking for that key…) More & more you are becoming like our beloved older Brother, JESUS, who Himself was “made perfect” (<— now there's a wild turn of phrase!) through His sufferings. Like that well-known story of the refiner who keeps his gold in the furnace until the refiner can see his OWN image, so, too, I think that our Papa (the Master Refiner) has been nodding His head as He sees His Own beauty glowing more & more in you, Michelle! (You probably know the song Steve Green's sung, "Refiner's Fire": "no matter what it may take/I *choose* the Refiner's fire!") You are a treasure! — gracie;-)

  7. There is a season for every activity under the sun.

    I understand that this is a process. It was for me and I did not share my story on my blog until God told me it was time and when it was time He gave me every single word. I was not stressed writing it and after I felt free like He promises the truth to do. Praise God.

    I am praying for this time in your life that God would continue to pour His love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, strength and peace on you. And that He would give you wisdom and direction concerning the days to come.

    I love you and am always here for you XO

  8. It sounds like you had a beautiful Sunday. I hope you let your faith flow over you, like that green comforter, and keeps your heart warm.

    The Psalms, with their songs in praise to God, are a good way to fuel your soul, like tea can on a chilly morning, although I prefer a Chai tea blend to wake me up.

    I did have to look up Bema Seat. I read a commentary on, by J. Hampton Keathley, in which he writes:

    “Both Romans 14:10 and 2 Corinthians 5:9 speak of the “judgment seat.” This a translation of one Greek word, the word bema. While bema is used in the gospels and Acts of the raised platform where a Roman magistrate or ruler sat to make decisions and pass sentence (Matt. 27:19; John 19:13), its use in the epistles by Paul, because of his many allusions to the Greek athletic contests, is more in keeping with its original use among the Greeks.”

    “the judgment seat of Christ is not a place and time when the Lord will mete out punishment for sins committed by the child of God. Rather, it is a place where rewards will be given or lost depending on how one has used his or her life for the Lord.”

    He references Revelations 22:12:

    “It is significant that among the final words of Revelation, the last book of the Bible, we find these words of the Lord:

    Rev. 22:12 Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to render to every man according to what he has done.”

    Faith, hope, and trust sound like a good plan to me Michelle.

  9. “So many of us in blogland talk about being real, but don’t desire to share our struggles until we have them figured out.”

    the last three months i have had a friend challenge me that authenticity is not true authenticity if it is “in the rearview mirror” …. that challenge has changed how i choose to share my story. it has forced me out of rear-view sharing into attempting to share in the now.

    somedays i’m better than others… but i’m learning to have confidence to share in the now…

  10. A delete key!?! Wow. How wonderful would that be!!! But, you know, Gracie, I wouldn’t be learning what I’m learning if it wasn’t for these things. As much as I pray for healing and deliverance (cause I haven’t yet heard Him tell me to stop…thinking Paul here and the thorn in his flesh) I know He’ll “let up” when He sees fit.

    And I do know that song. It was one of my choices to sing in the days we had “specials” in church. I love that song! Thank you for so steadfastly loving me and for all your prayers, Gracie. ♥

    I know you’re always there for me, Gch. I am grateful for your testimony and the encouragement you’ve brought to me through these years. Pretty cool, huh? We can say years now…I love you. And someday, I will hold that baby!!! xo

    Wow, Ed. You did some research there. The Bema Seat…yep…The Judgment Seat of Christ. Yet, those who stand in Him will not be condemned: For there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. You found a good source of information for the scriptures do teach He will reward the CF for all we have done since we called upon His name. Our deeds will be judged as worthy or worthless. But we will be saved for we stand alone in His righteousness.

    My pastor did a dramatic presentation of The Bema Seat. It’s not on youtube but you can go to the church site and order a copy if you’re interested. Bent Tree Bible Fellowship and the CD is called, “The Bema Seat”…very cool. (Looks like it’s right on the front page…that’s easy)

    I am waiting on the Lord to tell me when to speak, Jenny. For now, I’ll speak in categories. Details will come, if and when He allows. I’m glad you are able to share your story freely. I’ve been reading. 🙂

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