From Here to Eternity

Standard

Recently, I’ve been falling asleep in prayer.  I’m not really sure when it started, sometime in this past year I’ve come to call Hell.  But, yeah.  It’s become a habit.

And, most recently, I will hit the CD player and listen to Kathy Trocolli’s “Draw Me Close” album.  The music is only a guitar and piano (well, one piece has a cello) with her deeply resonating tones singing some of my favorite hymns and worship songs.  Then, when she’s through, I pray…until I fall asleep.

It may be considered an escape to some.  And, maybe it is.  But it’s the best way I’ve found to “rise above” the doubts, disappointments, and disillusionments of this life. 

My son asked me the other day if it’s possible to think too much from an eternal perspective.  I know what he’s getting at.  He’s wondering about that saying, “Too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good.” 

I’ve always hated that statement.  I must say, it’s just not true.  And maybe I’ve said it here before (a bit too tired to go look it up), but the One who was the MOST heavenly minded (that would be Jesus) did the MOST earthly good.  With our perspective on eternity we will invest in the only two things on this earth which are eternal: The Word of God and People.

If I’m investing in other things with my time, talent, and treasure, it won’t last.  Everything else on this earth is temporary.  I’m wasting my time if I’m not living by His Word and investing in people.

So…I pray.

I don’t have much energy.  Most of what people would call success, I’ve never achieved.  But I do have lots and lots of time.  So…

I pray.

I pray for my family, for my friends, for the world of people, for God’s will to be done, for all of us to know Him better and seek His face in the difficulties we must endure, for deliverance from evil, for forgiveness, for  mercy and compassion to flow from me to others.  I’m not sure what else to do with my time.  I’m stuck in this body…in this room…in this temporary place…for now.

Somehow, this is His will for me.  And since I’m not sure what else to do but tell Him what I’d like, and then wait on Him for the answers…

I’ll keep praying.

I hope it’s enough. 

Then the Spirit quickly reminds me,
“It is…It’s what Jesus did.”

“Father, if you are willing,
please take this cup of suffering away from me.
Yet I want your will, not mine.”

Advertisements

9 responses »

  1. Thank you, Pat (I shortened your name, hope that’s okay.)

    I appreciated BOTH links. It was especially good for me to hear Kay Arthur. You may not know this, but I was a Precept leader for years…so…thank you, again. Much needed encouragement…

  2. i thought about – as i read you falling asleep…

    For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep (psalm 127.2) 🙂

    “the One who was the MOST heavenly minded (that would be Jesus) did the MOST earthly good”

    i have never thought about this before…i have heard the “heavenly minded” statement for years, but this just put it in a wonderful new perspective for me – thank you 🙂

  3. Thank you, Ed. It was a very different Easter for us this year. But, God is faithful…as I wrote, I fell asleep thanking Him for His precious gift of forgiveness.

    Oh, that’s a good verse to remember, Jenny. Thank you. And welcome. I’ve seen you around and happy to see your avatar here…what a fun one!

  4. Hey Michelle,

    Would it be okay if I envied you a little? Not a lot, since it has been a year of hell as you say, but the prayer giving way to sleep… that just sounds divine. pun intended.

  5. i have slowly been reading through post after post. instead of leaving without saying that i’ve been here, i thought it was time to say something. i love the depth of your posts. they make me stop and think and want to be different.

    i am not quite sure that i fully grasp your “story” yet but i’m not done. i know i’ve made it back to 2008 at some point.

    keep writing!!

  6. Well, thank you, Sheryl, and welcome! My story is not laid out in detail…yet. I’m waiting for clear answers before I start writing. I’m afraid if I write too soon, I won’t speak well. (Quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.) It’s taking time, but if I stay faithful to listen, I am hoping the words will come. The only words I’ve learned so far: Hi, my name is Michelle. I’m celebrating recovery from shame due to abuse and performance-based religion, or as some call it, legalism.

    Thank you for the encouragement. It helps! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s