Recently, I’ve been falling asleep in prayer. I’m not really sure when it started, sometime in this past year I’ve come to call Hell. But, yeah. It’s become a habit.
And, most recently, I will hit the CD player and listen to Kathy Trocolli’s “Draw Me Close” album. The music is only a guitar and piano (well, one piece has a cello) with her deeply resonating tones singing some of my favorite hymns and worship songs. Then, when she’s through, I pray…until I fall asleep.
It may be considered an escape to some. And, maybe it is. But it’s the best way I’ve found to “rise above” the doubts, disappointments, and disillusionments of this life.
My son asked me the other day if it’s possible to think too much from an eternal perspective. I know what he’s getting at. He’s wondering about that saying, “Too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good.”
I’ve always hated that statement. I must say, it’s just not true. And maybe I’ve said it here before (a bit too tired to go look it up), but the One who was the MOST heavenly minded (that would be Jesus) did the MOST earthly good. With our perspective on eternity we will invest in the only two things on this earth which are eternal: The Word of God and People.
If I’m investing in other things with my time, talent, and treasure, it won’t last. Everything else on this earth is temporary. I’m wasting my time if I’m not living by His Word and investing in people.
I don’t have much energy. Most of what people would call success, I’ve never achieved. But I do have lots and lots of time. So…
I pray for my family, for my friends, for the world of people, for God’s will to be done, for all of us to know Him better and seek His face in the difficulties we must endure, for deliverance from evil, for forgiveness, for mercy and compassion to flow from me to others. I’m not sure what else to do with my time. I’m stuck in this body…in this room…in this temporary place…for now.
Somehow, this is His will for me. And since I’m not sure what else to do but tell Him what I’d like, and then wait on Him for the answers…
I’ll keep praying.
I hope it’s enough.
Then the Spirit quickly reminds me,
“It is…It’s what Jesus did.”
“Father, if you are willing,
please take this cup of suffering away from me.
Yet I want your will, not mine.”