The sobs came from a deep place of knowing
No matter how much I want out…
I can’t get out.
I can’t take the steps that lead to death.
I am to walk this road no matter the consequence,
For this gift of life is just that…a gift from God…to pursue Him.
I am to run to Him.
“The illusion that life in a fallen world is really not too bad must be shattered. When even the best parts of life are exposed as pathetic counterfeits of how things should be, the reality drives us to a level of distress that threatens to utterly undo us. But it’s when we’re on the brink of personal collapse that we’re best able to shift the direction of our soul from self-protection to trusting love. The more deeply we enter into the reality that life without God is sheer desolation, the more fully we can turn toward Him.”
I am to turn to God
In my distress
And He will deliver me.
Turn from self…
Turn from digging my own cistern…
Turn to the One who has the living water…
“There is no place for sugar coating in the life of a serious Christian. Life is unspeakably sad. But we’re more than conquerors over every cause of sadness. Repentance means to accept the truth that life without God is no life at all and to therefore pursue God with all the passion of someone who has been rescued from unimaginable horror. When hints of sadness creep into our soul, we must not flee into happy or distracting thoughts. Pondering the sadness until it becomes overwhelming can lead us to deep change in direction of our being from self-preservation to grateful worship.”
Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.
Wash your hands, you sinners;
Purify your hearts, you hypocrites.
Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done.
Let there be sorrow and deep grief.
Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.
“The richest love grows in the soil of an unbearable disappointment with life. When we realize life can’t give us what we want, we can better give up our foolish demand that it do so and get on with the noble task of loving as we should. We will no longer need to demand protection from further disappointment. The deepest change will occur in the life of a bold realist who clings to God with a passion only his realistic appraisal of life can generate.”
May love grow richly in me
That I may extend it fully to these
You’ve entrusted to me.
I cling to You…not this life…but to You.
You are the Source of Eternal Life.
You are the Life-giving Spirit.
You are the One who is able to do
Exceedingly, abundantly beyond
All I could ever ask or think.
I come to You.
I am Your vessel to use
As You choose.
Thank you, Father, for bringing me
To the Shepherd of my soul,
Jesus Christ, Your Son
And my Lord,