I Believe

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Words scrawled on a cellar wall where Jews had hidden in Cologne, Germany during World War II:

I believe in the sun
Even when it isn’t shining. 

I believe in love
Even when I am alone. 

I believe in God
Even when He is silent.

To believe…even when the world, as you know it, is falling apart.

I know God is real. He may be silent at this point in time, but I will trust His silence.

He is never asleep.

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.

The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.

The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.

~Psalm 121


I was sure by now
God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

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15 responses »

  1. Amazing that the gift of faith is based on knowing not feeling. And faith is a gift from Him. I am in awe of our Father. He saves us and even though in all fairness that should have been enough because we are so not worthy of that even He gives us faith, strength, peace, joy, wisdom, and all other tools to live a life pleasing to Him.

    Yet it’s not as easy as it sounds. The reality is we are still human and susceptible to sin and our flesh will always be a hindrance to us fully and completely becoming holy like Him until we are with Him in Heaven.

    BUT

    The even bigger and more powerful reality is that God had a redemptive plan for us from the beginning of time. That His blood has cleansed us of all sins: past, present, and future and while that is not an open ticket to sin it is an assurance that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us, knowing we were going to sin throughout our life being human.

    I do believe, from my own experience, that our interpretation of God’s silence stems from not receiving the answers we want to hear. I don’t believe He ever stops talking to us if we are seeking Him continually. The “silence” comes when either we’ve stopped listening and are doing our own thing because as we know God never forces Himself on anyone or when He is responding but it’s not the answer we want so therefore the silence is in Him not saying what we want to hear and subconsciously we block it out.

    I don’t know if that makes sense. I’m speaking from my own experience of feeling like He was silent when really He wasn’t. When I look back at my journal entries, emails, blog entries, and devotionals from the time I was going through my divorce and God was speaking so loud and clear; I just wasn’t listening!

    I know that your road has not been easy and that there have been several times where it may have felt like God has forsaken you or is silent but know that He is still God regardless of how much we change or what our circumstances may be. He doesn’t change. He is still the great I am. His Word is still true. He still knows the plans He has for us and those plans are still to prosper and not harm us; to give us a hope and a future; and to bring us to an expected end. He still plans to work all things together for our good. He still guves us peace that surpasses all understanding. He still gives us strength to do anything through Him.

    Be stil and know that He is (still) God.

    Love you Sis.

  2. “I know that your road has not been easy and that there have been several times where it may have felt like God has forsaken you or is silent but know that He is still God regardless of how much we change or what our circumstances may be. He doesn’t change. He is still the great I am. His Word is still true.”

    He is still God. I know He has never forsaken me, Gch, nor will He. Yet, He is beyond my questions. If I could put Him in a box, He would no longer be God. He’s too great to comprehend. His ways are not my ways, nor His thoughts my thoughts. Coming to grips with the reality of all He is, the way He works in our lives to bring us closer and closer to Him, to purge us of all the impurities, to move us from glory to glory to glory…

    I continue to praise Him. He is all that is good.

  3. “I believe in God, Even when He is silent.” The silences are difficult. Sometimes I really wish God would speak audibly. Because I have so many questions, and I imagine if He had a house where I could go and knock on the door and ask Him my question and He’ll answer me and I’ll do the right thing.

    But in the silence, I am reminded to be still and know that He is God. I read this this morning in a devotional. It was so beautifully written, it really spoke to me:

    “All-loving Father, sometimes we have walked under starless skies that dripped darkness like drenching rain. We despaired of starshine or moonlight or sunrise. The sullen blackness gloomed above us as if it would last forever. And out of the dark there spoke no soothing voice to mend our broken hearts. We would gladly have welcomed some wild thunder peal to break the torturing stillness of that over-brooding night.
    “But Thy winsome whisper of eternal love spoke more sweetly to our bruised and bleeding souls than any winds that breathe across Aeolian harps. It was Thy ‘still small voice’ that spoke to us. We were listening and we heard. We looked and saw Thy face radiant with the light of love. And when we heard Thy voice and saw Thy face, new life came back to us as life comes back to withered blooms that drink the summer rain.”

  4. “The sullen blackness gloomed above us as if it would last forever. And out of the dark there spoke no soothing voice to mend our broken hearts…But…Thy winsome whisper of eternal love spoke more sweetly to our bruised and bleeding souls…We were listening and we heard…new life came back to us as life comes back to withered blooms that drink the summer rain.”

    Wow. Thank you, Rain. It is so beautifully written. I do know this place of starless night. My heart has been torn, but as the song says, I will still praise Him in this storm.

    I look forward to the summer rain and pray this withered bloom will come back to new life. I know He is able to restore me.

    We serve a mighty God who loves us like no other.

    Thanks for listening, Rain.

  5. I don’t think God has ever felt silent to me, but it may be because He’s never been loud in my life. He always seems subtle to me, present most in the little things, but I think that’s because He needs me to be the one paying attention and looking for it. I have to really be intentional about observing my life and my world to see Him everywhere… even in the ugly parts I’d rather not glance at.

    I wish sometimes He was loud. But for me, He is the constant undertone of everything. I lose Him when I stop looking.

  6. Rain said: ‘Because I have so many questions, and I imagine if He had a house where I could go and knock on the door and ask Him my question and He’ll answer me and I’ll do the right thing.’

    He has a ‘mansion with many rooms’ Rain. WE have a ‘temple’ that Jesus promised us and exists within us where we can go and ask our questions then listen in patient silence for His answers.

    We need to learn how to ‘knock’ and how to be silent so as to better listen and how to SEE than answers as they appear in our life here on earth.

    As Gitz said – He is the constant undertone of EVERY THING!

    We just need to pay better attention to all that IS. and less of what we ‘make’ it.

    <B

  7. Hey, Gitz!

    “I have to really be intentional about observing my life and my world to see Him everywhere… even in the ugly parts I’d rather not glance at.”

    I was just reading Larry Crabb last night and he said:

    The Christian who understands the sinfulness of his heart (not merely external sin and internal pain), and who appreciates the wonder of knowing God because he has tasted His goodness, will continue asking God to search him even when life is comfortable. Neither the sinfulness of others nor the comforts of life will weaken the maturing Christian’s desire to know more of himself in order to clear away the obstacles to knowing more of God. ~Inside Out

    “But for me, He is the constant undertone of everything.” AMEN!! Even as a kid I knew He was there. He’s never left me…in all my wanderings…He’s been waiting.

    Learning to better listen…yes, Love! 😀

  8. Hmm, Love, the thing is I’m not very good with hearing that still small voice. Practice probably makes perfect and I have learnt a lesson I will never forget when I did what I was sure was God’s will but turned out to be a total disaster. Had I listened to my heart as well I would have sensed the discomfort but on that I just thought God doesn’t always give us the easy way and I just have to bite the bullet. Turns out God never intended for me to bite that bullet.

    That is why it would be so much easier if we could just walk right up to God, ask His will and do it. But then our belief wouldn’t be about faith. So I know I need to practice to be sensitive to hear His still small voice.

    I agree with you and Michelle, we need to learn to listen better. 🙂

  9. Hey, Nor!

    At the risk of sounding cliche’, He hears you. He understands the thundering. He gets the anger. The sin in this world causes great anger in Him, as well. And some day He will make it ALL right. It is because of the sin in this world that His wrath will come. It seems to me, and I could be very wrong about this, but it does seem the thundering within your soul is an outcry against this sinful world, as it is:

    Taking, as He did, this sinful world
    as it is, not as I would have it;
    Trusting that He will make all things right
    if I surrender to His Will;

    The thundering within my soul is that we can’t be completely fulfilled in this life. We are thirsty. We desire to be filled to the fullest, our cup running over. As we realize the sinfulness of this world, I believe we become more stricken with grief…and anger (nordic meaning there?)…because we are getting closer to the heart of God concerning the ways of the world.

    The suicides, the painful, terrifying moments in life, the many and varied “deaths” we endure are all due to sin. So your anger, the thunder that rolls, it is very understandable. God is with you in it.

    He feels the same.

    Love you and praying…

  10. You know – what I love and respect most about you, Michelle, is that in spite of the questions, your heart never wavers. You have determined to sit solidly on the Truth and you won’t be moved in spite of the valleys. That … is tough. That is perseverance. I admire that so much.

  11. Not having read all the other comments this might be a redundant statement…

    This post reminds me of the man who pleaded with Jesus saying, “I believe. Help me in my unbelief.”

    That bit that was on the wall, I like it very much.

  12. Thank you, Annie. I don’t always feel I’m standing solidly, but I’m very thankful for His holding me up through it all. His steadfast love never ceases.

    Yes, Angie! That is exactly my heart’s cry. I understand that man’s prayer. And He is faithful to answer it. I won’t ever let go of His hand. As much as I feel love from those around me, I do know His love for me is greater still. AMAZING!

  13. As you can tell, it’s been a while since dropping in, but I’m trying to play catch up. This an incredible post. The words inscribed on the wall speaks so clearly about faith.

    I love Psalm 121; the psalmist understood where his help comes from, as we should. It’s not always easy to lift our hands and believe when things aren’t quite so peachy. Another portion of scripture that might fit nicely here is found in Habakkuk 3:17-19 (ESV):

    Habakkuk Rejoices in the Lord

    17 Though the fig tree should not blossom,
    nor fruit be on the vines,
    the produce of the olive fail
    and the fields yield no food,
    the flock be cut off from the fold
    and there be no herd in the stalls,
    18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
    I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
    19 God, the Lord, is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the deer’s;
    he makes me tread on my high places.

    To the choirmaster: with stringed [4] instruments.

  14. Welcome back, Preacher! It’s interesting you gave the scripture from Habakkuk…it’s the basis of my most recent post. 😉

    I must choose to praise even when I don’t understand what He’s doing. I will trust in His loving ways.

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