As He Sees Me

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“You’re beautiful.  Truly beautiful.”

I don’t believe this.  I have not believed this for most of my life. 

Of course, I love to hear it.  But I’ll usually laugh if someone says it, not at all accepting the words as true.

This really frustrates Phat.  I mean, really.  Over the years I’ve come to understand that in some weird way he does believe this about me.  I’m never really sure how that’s possible because, you see, this is not false humility.  I really do NOT see it. 

I know all my faults. 

I see all my scars. 

I hear all the words of disapproval from the many years of not meeting the standard of perfection.

But, do you know what’s even more amazing?  Phat sees me when I’m naked and still says I’m beautiful.  Really!

Now, come on!  That’s just freaking remarkable.  Truly mind-boggling.  It’s hard to get my head around but,…

…he really means it. 

I’m Phat’s bride and he loves me.  I am his and he is mine.  He delights in me.  Whether I get it or not…he does!

And I’m kind of, hopefully, maybe…starting to believe it’s true.  I mean, he believes it…really believes it.   Astounding!

So…why don’t I believe God when He says it?  God says He loves me.  God said Jesus died for me when I was unlovely.

Hmmm…?  I am called the bride of Christ.  The church is the bride of Christ and I am part of His church. 

When did that happen?  When He saw me naked and knew I needed covering.  He came and covered me with His righteousness.  His blood covers all my sin.

He saw me, parading around in my nakedness, without proper covering and He covered me in Him.

Much as Ruth, in her helpless state, was covered by Boaz, her kinsman redeemer.

He has always been concerned about covering His chosen ones and declaring them beautiful.   But even when I was not beautiful, He loved me.  He cleaned me up and clothed me in His robe of righteousness. 

I will rejoice greatly in the LORD,
My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

~Isaiah 61:10

I’m beginning to see me as He sees me.

It’s kind of…freeing…

…you know?

Then you will experience for yourselves the truth,
and the truth will free you…
So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through.
~John 8:32,36

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So your God will rejoice over you.

~Isaiah 62:5

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35 responses »

  1. This is something I struggle with every day, and it really makes people uncomfortable that a male should struggle with this stuff. Years of degradation and ridicule will do that to you. Body issues, self-consciousness over acne, etc. People think that it’s something only females struggle with, they think that societal standards (lies) about beauty being skin deep have only affected women.

    It’s reassuring when other people share their fears about this and even more reassuring when they share that God is bringing them to a deeper realisation of how he sees them. Spotless and clean, beautiful and lovely.

    You rock Michelle.

  2. Michelle, it was so good to read this, and to be reminded of how lovely we are in God’s sight, robed in His Son’s righteousness.

    Speaking about beauty, I met this Christian lady today and I was so struck by the beauty that came from within her. She had such a gentleness and kindness that literally lit up her eyes and expressions. It was that inner beauty that made a real impression on me. To me, it really was Christ-like.

    I love that not only does our God see us as lovely, but He works that loveliness within us by His Spirit.

    Love you Michelle, God bless.

  3. If you were looking for my source of struggle, you hit the nail on the head, honey. Nothing about me has ever felt “enough” in any way… cute enough, smart enough, talented enough, worthy of enough. The idea that people have been coming to my blog for a purpose still freaks me out a little because I can’t imagine I have enough to offer.

    But even though I think all of those things, I still do all the things I feel unqualified for because it’s not about me. My life is not about me, but about God, and what He needs from me.

    I will continue to doubt and wonder, but I will also serve as asked. The two don’t seemingly go together but the do for me. Maybe one day I’ll feel worthy or good enough to do what I have been set on this path to accomplish. Only in stepping forward will I find that out.

  4. If I substitute “strong” for “beautiful” and “Patti” for “Phat”, I could have written this post.

    You are beautiful. I mean that from a Christian brother point of view. Your words, your heart, your self, that we see here, is beautiful. I know struggle to believe the unbelievable about ourselves.

  5. The more I read your comments on others’ blogs, the more I’m aware of how beautiful you are. It’s the only reason that I stopped in today.

  6. This has been part of my prayer for you. That you would begin to see yourself as God sees you. I need the same realization in my own life.

    Love,
    me

  7. Hey, Brian. I’m so glad you opened up and admitted this struggle is not just for girls. It is hard in this world to feel we will ever meet the “standard.” For me it’s freckles. Seriously. I don’t just have a smattering of dots across my nose. I am COVERED in freckles from head (yes, even on my scalp and I’m NOT bald!!) to my toes. REALLY! Of course, it’s always been something to mention…anyone who sees me must mention it! And kids…wow…that never goes away…they stared when I was little and they still stare. Of course, now I’ve learned to talk about it, but…it can still rankle…

    Obviously! Look how much I just wrote about FRECKLES! Sheesh! Many years ago when studying Psalm 139 in Sunday School, the teacher mentioned that the word for “knit” as in, “knit me together in my mother’s womb,” literally means “freckled.” That little lesson began to open my eyes to the truth about the way God sees me. He created me this way on PURPOSE!! It was INTENTIONAL!!! And some people don’t think God has a sense of humor. 🙄

    So yeah, Brian, glad you spoke up. I guess I had a bit more to say. 😳

    Thank you, Birg! You know, even if you didn’t have an amazing avatar and a wonderful pic on your blog, I would still know you are beautiful. Your words and your heart shine through in your writing…and then, to see life through your eyes with your gift of photography…wow…GORGEOUS!! 😀

    Oh my gracious, Gitz! You ooze beauty! I’m really surprised to hear you’ve struggled with this. PEOPLE, did you notice the buttons on the sidebar…Gitz did them! That would be Sara and she has SO much to share through her creativity and wonderful writing abilities. I’m so glad Tam found you and then told me. You’ve been a blessing, girl. Truly. 🙂

    Oh, thank you, Ric. Strong is a word I’ve thought of LOTS when reading your writing. I know a bit of your struggles, I think we understand each other well. All that you’ve said, I reciprocate…completely…in a Christian sister kind of way. 😉

    Welcome, Louise. I’m so glad you stopped by. I’ll be coming over some time today. Thank you for your kind words. 🙂

    Hey, Heidi! I’m not at all surprised you knew exactly how to pray. I’m in awe that when the light turned on, it really turned on!! I could actually get it, deep inside, that I am loved. He accepts me competely. He has not rejected me. I don’t have to be 100% perfect…He loves me in my unworthiness. Coming from our upbringing, that’s huge, HUGE to begin to understand. You know? Well,…if you don’t know…in your deepest parts yet,…I’m praying you will get it very soon. Love you much, Heidi! 😉

  8. Oh I love you, Michelle! That wall was dealt a mighty blow …. Praise God! I love how you’ve said this as well. Love you bunches and bunches!!

    And reading through everyone’s remarks here made me think – SO much of the world struggles with this. Something like 85% of women (not to mention the men as Brian says – my husband belongs to that group as well) struggle with self-image. I can’t help but think – women portray the church in so many ways. Perhaps we are seeing something HUGE in the body of Christ as well: seeing ourselves as beautiful, desirable, and lovely in HIS sight. Believing Him when He says we are beautiful. Accepting His love and attention whether or not we feel we deserve it. He is our Great Lover. 🙂

  9. I’m confident He will answer our prayers, Heidi.

    Thank you, Selena. I really appreciate your words.

    Hey, Sparkle! That wall would not have come down without a mighty warrior coming alongside. YOU helped me more than you know. I’ve only had a few times in my life when I would say I’ve had a “breakthrough”…this one was definitely a divine appointment. Thank you, Annie!

    And you’re right. So many struggle with this. I think I know why. Until you get it yourself, you aren’t sure how to pass it along. I can teach truth, I can tell people God loves them, but to feel it — all the way down to my toes — makes it much more believable to those listening. At least, that’s my hope.

    What an amazing Bridegroom we have! He delights in us! Wow.

  10. Oh WOW!!! Praise God. Praise God. Praise God. To God be all the glory. I remember thinking at the beginning of the conversation when I brought up clothing, “Where is this going? Am I going on a bunny trail?” I guess I felt peace, ’cause I kept right on going. 🙂 Just saying … it certainly was Him, and not me. Praise God. HE always knows what to say and when to say it. I’m humbled that He used me. And so excited and glad!!! 😀 “All the way down to my toes …” 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

  11. You know, like Gitz, I’ve always been a “not-good-enough” person myself.

    Then, of course, I started to lose my hearing.

    Which was SO cool.

    ‘Cause I stopped listening to people who said that stuff.

    And it’s pretty amazing what you can hear when you stop listening, isn’t it? 😉

  12. When you came out from behind the half face avatar…I felt a turning point for you.

    Don’t ever forget that God made you who you are, and he sees you as his beautiful creation, no matter the scars created on this earth.

    Peace and love sister.

  13. Not a bunny trail at all. He was leading you the whole way. Thank you for listening, Sparkle! 😀

    “‘Cause I stopped listening to people who said that stuff.”

    Thank you, Nor, for saying this. You’ve been saying it for quite a while now, and I’m beginning to hear you. We don’t have to listen to abusive speech, words that tear down instead of build up. It’s so easy to say careless words but so difficult to erase them. We need to hear what He says about us.

    He loves us. He delights in us.

    SO cool. Thanks for all the help you’ve given, Nor. 😉

  14. I didn’t see you there, Carl. Thank you.
    It was the beginning of a turning, you’re right about that.

    The scars of this world can be very ugly, but now I know those are scars He’s using for His glory.
    Peace and love to you, brother!

  15. In reading your comments: I think freckles ARE beautiful ESPECIALLY the head-to-toe type. When I was little, I had lots of them but they faded in time. I miss those little dots all over my nose. You’re beautiful and encouraging, so see yourself as we do. BEAUTIFUL!

  16. “I am beginning to see me as HE sees me”
    What an awesome thing!! sometimes I think I am on my way, and other times i just really need to be on my knees refusing to leave til HE wraps around me…HE is so real…I wish I could give it to everyone..but its so personal…and I am thrilled that you are seeing it! still praying for you…you are precious!

  17. Thank you, Darla. I know what you’re saying about needing to be on your knees until He wraps around you. I’ve had glimpses of this throughout my life, but something became tangible for me the other day. Finally, some of the shadows began to dissipate. It’s amazing. I am still in need of all the prayers you can muster for me, Darla. I’m praying for you too. Love you!

  18. I know how that feels – yeah! I was rejected a lot during my teen years (Anybody could think of Steve Urkel on Family Matters years ago?) I had a lot of flak because of that show…

    I came to realize that I had ME… so I loved on me first… and then I realized that Jesus would never leave me! So I turned my attention on HIM and poured out all the love I wanted to give another onto him…. I loved him seriously, stayed up late talking to him, sang to him… all the ‘sappy’ stuff u do when u are ‘in love’.

    Then he brought me my wife to be…. and my first thought was, “OMG, she’s gonna spoil it!” 😆 I then had to learn how to split my affections between her and Him….

    Thankfully, we’ve been married over 7 years now… and my love for my Saviour has only deepened… and now I have to split my love 4 ways – we have 2 boys!!!!!!!!! More love to go around!

    (omg – this is a blog post of its own! sorry!) 😀

  19. “More love to go around!”

    Isn’t that amazing, Bajan? The more we love, the more love we have to give. It just keeps pouring out. It is a great life when we realize it’s all about loving one another through the love He has given us.

    Welcome to my blog, Bajan! It’s good to see you here. Come back AND COMMENT anytime! 😉

  20. Ummmmmmm I probably won’t ever see you naked, but I still think you are beautiful! Even before I saw you in the video, it is Christ within you that makes you sooooo dang perty! Merry Christmas! Love you! 🙂

  21. Thank you, Debs!!! Yeah, I kind of wondered if people would have a hard time with that example. You know, I was referring to how God sees us in all our shame, in our sinfulness, in our wickedness and still chose us. He picked us up in our most shameful state and covered us in Him. Isn’t that amazing?!?!??!

    I desire to gain acceptance from people. I really do. But that desire won’t be fulfilled through others because we, as people, aren’t very accepting of others’ shame. It makes us uncomfortable to see when others don’t like themselves. But God can see it. God knows just how shameful I am and yet He still chose me. It really is astounding. You know?

    He sees the deepest parts of me and STILL loves me!

    WoW.

    You have a Merry Christmas, too, Debs!! Love you! 😉

  22. I gotta tell you, this has been the highlight of my week. Every so often I think about it, and SMILE so much to myself. 🙂 Love you. So much.

  23. Mine too, Sparkle!! The feeling hasn’t subsided. I’ve been enjoying every thought about Him without any residual questions of His love toward me. It’s weirdly wonderful! 😉 Love you too!!! Thanks again and again and again and again… 😆

  24. Hi Michelle!

    This is such an insightful post. I didn’t read in depth the rest of the comments so please forgive me if I am being redundant.

    When I look at my children I think that they are the most beautiful creatures to ever grace the planet. Really they are so wonderful in my eyes and I know that part of the reason is because they are mine. Well, I think that God would see the same as he looks at his creation – us. And then taking it even one step further as I consider how Phat adores you and that being an example of the great adoration God has for us when we are interacting with other humans it is important to remember that God adores this person he has created. He has the eternal perspective that we need to try to see when we interact with people.

    Thanks for writing this. You ARE beautiful.

  25. Hey, Angie! I’ve been missing you. Glad to see you here.

    It certainly was an eye-opener to me, to come to this realization. And in the aftermath, I’m still surprised at the peace and contentment this truth has brought to my life.

    It’s lovely to understand He sees us with such adoration. And yes, the way we see our children…of course!

    Thank you, Angie. Have a Very Merry Christmas!

  26. Michelle,

    Getting to know you is such a treat – and reading your blog is so insightful. As I read through tonight, this post “As he sees me” affects me. First of all lets get this straight – you are beautiful. At first glance you are a beauty – molded by God’s own hand. God doesnt make mistakes, and yes he has a sense of humor for sure – I could tell you many stories.

    As for the freckles – I look at them and smile because I have a little girl who is beseached with these little greenish-brown speckles herself. When she first began to get them she was so sad (at three-years-old she was for some strange reason concerned about her appearance) and a very freckely and beautiful lady told her not to be sad or ashamed as these were nothing more than Angel Kisses. Since that day she has never been particularly concerned with them.

    SO if you are not yet convinced that your freckles are a thing of beauty – then think of it as a physical sign of the Army of Angels that God has surrounded you with to carry you through your trials and just as loved ones do, each has given you “kisses” and left the proof right there!

    Thank you for your enlightening words; thoughts, and interpretations. You are truly a blessing!

    His Grace is Sufficient!

    Ginger

  27. Hey, Ginger! You came and read my blog! Very cool.

    “think of it (freckles) as a physical sign of the Army of Angels that God has surrounded you with to carry you through your trials”

    Well, in that case, we both know His angels are innumerable! I tried once to count the freckles on the back of my hand (bored during church) and in a 2 inch circle I counted over a hundred…so just imagine the number if they could actually be counted! I guess if He knows the number of hairs on my head, then He must know how many freckles I have and how vast His Army of Angels.

    Thank you for your words of encouragement, Ginger. It’s been a treat getting to know you, as well.

    God is good to us! 🙂

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