The Help of His Presence

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Sometimes I think I shouldn’t express what my heart is feeling.  I know that’s not the right way to think.  But…we live in a world full of optimism and “living your best life now” is usually the mantra everyone speaks. 

In my innermost being, I desire honesty.  I want to say what I’m feeling, but I don’t want to be thought of as a “downer.” 

I wonder if David ever felt this way:

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?

Since I am afflicted and needy,
Let the Lord be mindful of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Do not delay, O my God.

Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

As the deer pants for the water brooks;
So my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food day and night.

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him,
For the help of His presence.

I think David could relate to how I feel, or I relate to David…?  Either way, I get what he’s saying.   I’m grateful these laments were not left out of the Psalms.  I have needed David’s words to say what I’ve been afraid to say. 

I don’t really know why I am disturbed.  I think it’s a lack of completion. 

I’m not yet where I want to be. 

(Is that a phrase from U2?!  Hmmm… ?  Maybe Bono gets me too.  Or vice versa.)

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13 responses »

  1. If I don’t acknowledge where I am, I’m never going to get to where I want to be. It’s not until I acknowledge my fear that I can then say to myself, “Fear isn’t an option.”

    It’s ok to be where you’re at. It helps you to get where you’re going. I’m always working at getting somewhere better, too. The nice part is when we get to journey together.

  2. When I read Sara’s comment, I realized…

    …I have nothing to add.

    Well said, Sara. Very well said.

  3. we are going to make it…I promise … God always finishes what HE starts, and HE has started a good work in us.

    Agreeing with Sara as well…and as always you express yourself so well in words…love you and praying for you!

  4. Hey, Nor and Darla! Sara does have a way with words. It’s those English majors…maybe I need to go back and get a Master’s.

    I’m so thankful for that truth, Darla. He will complete the work. I will trust in Him. Love you too and thanks so much for the prayers. I’m reciprocating. 😉

  5. I never want you to stop being transparent, and honest with us. I love those things about you, its like a breath of fresh air that I so often need, to just pick up my cross and press on..you are a great encouragement to me, I love you!

  6. My husband struggles with this same thing. I don’t have the answers … but I know that the words of our mouth are powerful. Ben has trouble with saying anything other than how he feels. If he feels negative, he feels like he is lying if something positive comes out of his mouth. So last night I posted something on the refrigerator for him.

    “I feel ____________
    but God’s truth for my situation
    is _____________.”

    That model helps me when I’m really feeling something I don’t feel like I can just spout everywhere. Not that I use it every time or infallibly … but it does help to get it off my chest and not get bogged down in it. I too, am glad that David was so ‘real.’ I think God likes this kind of raw honesty. I know I do!

  7. Thanks, Annie. That’s exactly the formula I use. It helps a great deal. Then other times, it’s necessary to get it all said, to work it through completely. I know He is close to those who are broken hearted. I’m not speaking of negativity in this post. I mean to say, He recognizes a bruised reed and promises not to crush me.

    People, on the other hand, have a tendency to crush.

    And as Sara said, without recognizing where I am, it’s difficult to move forward.

    Love you, Sparkle!

  8. with me, you can always express what you’re heart is feeling. i don’t expect it all in a nice, neat package even. i just want YOU.

  9. Sis,

    Our long lost bro’ Bajanpoet has a post i think puts a good ‘light’ on your (and everyone’s) thoughts in this.

    Although the post was written in relation to our reading of the Old Testament (in three ways equating to the three parts: Law/teaching; Prophets/feelings; and Sages or Wise men/Wisdom) it can give you a key, i bleieve – hopefully which helps you ‘locate’ what you and U2 and David are ‘looking for’ 🙂

    As human beings we can sometimes get a little ‘stuck’ in considering our situation from a single ‘perspective/aspect’ out of three when we are better served by viewing all three equally.

    If we ‘feel’ down we might apply our ‘wisdom’ (sometimes not real wisdom but intellectual thought which can add to the way we feel – or can turn it around sometimes – finding reasons either for or against how we are feeling. We might also seek His Law for things that tell us what we should do in some situations we feel ‘bad’ about.

    It is ok to have our feelings, mostly they will soon pass as our daily circumstances change – it is not ok for those feelings to be allowed to develop to the point they ‘control’ everything else to justify them and not honour Him.

    When our circumstances (or one particular one – such as our health) does not seem to change daily it can be easy for us to have the same feeling over and over – that is unhealthy for us, or can be if we choose negative feelings excessively over positive ones.

    Seek the balanced view – do not seek to eliminate all feelings but neither let one override your control. do not only ‘wallow’ in feelings (not that i feel you would!) but balance feelings with His Law/Word for us and with our own wisdom and the Wisdom of others.

    Law Prophets Wise men.
    Then Now Future..
    Doing Feeling Thinking!

    Balance.

    love

    <B

  10. You’re just being a realist – nothing wrong with that.
    We will learn in the coming months that the feeling you have – that inner longing, that “not-quite-right” feeling – is quite natural, and well it’s with us until we go home.

  11. Thank you, Alece. My package is fairly messy. 😉

    Hey, Love! I do understand the need for balance and do not want to be overcome with feelings. “Taking every thought captive” helps me, most days, stay above the downward pull of some thoughts. Thanks, Love. I appreciate your input. 🙂

    Thank you, Bad! I’m looking forward to the book study. It will be great to get some of these thoughts better understood. And yeah, it’s just part of life in this dimension, huh? 😉

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