Unconditional Love


When I tell the story of Phat and I falling in love, it almost sounds like a fairy tale.  It’s fun to think about the way we met and the sweet looks we exchanged.  But…truth be told, it wasn’t so easy.  Sure it was fun but I was a basket case…in counseling…in need of understanding, without judgment.  If you had spent any time talking with me, as an eighteen year old, you might have run.

I had already determined I was not beautiful or worthy of love, so I could be quite caustic.  I was little and vivacious…but a fighter…and a bit on the mean side.  Years of being teased helped in solidifying the idea I had to fight to be heard.  I also loved debate.  To get into a good discussion, sharing ideas back and forth, hoping to persuade someone to see it my way…”please, understand me!”

It didn’t take long for this little firecracker to frustrate Phat.  He didn’t want to walk away, but he couldn’t see how to handle someone with such cynicism and obvious pain.  He told me one day, “I really don’t think I can handle being with somebody who is so negative.”  I was devastated…but, fortunately had a counseling session already scheduled.

I bawled to Chaplain Martin, “Everyone always walks away.  See I’m not loveable, I’m not someone anybody wants to get close to.”  He let me cry.  It was part of what he was working on with me, to let me share my feelings without judgment, without telling me to “grow up, big girls don’t cry.” 

Once I’d settled down a bit he told me what to say in return.  He explained about the person he had come to know as being one with a tough exterior but an extremely sensitive interior.  And if anyone chose to hang around long enough, they would see how much fun I could be.

Long story short…it worked.  Phat chose to stay.  I am so thankful to. this. day. to have someone in my life who loves all of me.  I’m a case (short for basket case) but I’m loved.  I am not always loving, some of my old ways can surface in a flash, but…he understands and he loves me through it all.

It’s a beautiful picture of God.  He loves all of me.  He sees the good, the bad, and the ugly.  He understands all my feelings and all my tantrums and all my fears and all my joys and He loves me…unconditionally.

Praise Him.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.  It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  ~1Corinthians 13:4-7


35 responses »

  1. I loved reading this Michelle (I love love stories :))

    And that’s the most precious part – loving unconditionally like God and sticking around like He does.

    I love you, and it was so great to read about God’s hand on your life and your great husband!

  2. Thank you, Birgit. The sticking around can be a real trial for some. I am so grateful to God for giving me those who will stick it out. Grace is good. 😉

    Sleeping Bear 😉

  3. Sis~A long time ago, I wrote a post about agape love. Love that covers the principles of 1 Corinthians 13. Love that is perfect and casts out fear.

    The premise of God’s Word and who He is-is love. When I think of how many references there are in the Bible to love, I am amazed. His sacrifice was based on love–He so loved the world [us] that He gave His only begotten son-it doesn’t get much more unconditional than that.

    I want to be able to love everyone I know unconditionally but I know that I won’t be able to do that 100% until I get home [Heaven]. Still I’m His work in progress and He teaches me daily how I can love unconditionally through having a spirit of humility, forgiveness, thanksgiving and one that’s teachable.

    I’m so glad that God gave you Gary to love you unconditionally and help you see that you are worthy of that kind of love. Above anything I praise Him that He loves us unconditionally and allows us to see that we fearfully and wonderfully made, precious in His sight.

    I love you so much…..you are a blessing to me.

  4. Thanks, Gch! To know He has created us for fellowship with Him and made a way for that to be possible…wow! Even when we’re unlovely…at our most ugly place…while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. It’s amazing…then to see that type of love flow from another human…it’s only through His empowerment we are able to show that type of love to another.

    I love you too, Gch!

  5. Michelle~ alot of people are hard on the outside and sweet on the inside..jesus breaks through that hardness and softens the heart. I have been a picture of your story..and I rejoice withyou that God loves unconditionally and has given us husbands to also be a picture of that.

    Oh I love you too, and it doesn’t matter to me if you are having a good day or a bad day…I love you the same! ♥ you!

  6. Oh, Darla!! It’s so good to know you’ll accept all of me. It’s not very pretty sometimes, but…it is what it is. Husbands who love unconditionally are a wonderful gift from God. AMEN!!

    Hey, HisLife!! He loves us more than we can comprehend…some days it’s a bit overwhelming.

  7. too late..you are soooo stuck with me!!! and in the pic of yourself you do with words..don’t forget to add how much fun you are…you really are fun!!

  8. I wish I felt like playing, Darla. And I’m probably not nearly as tired as you. What a weekend and trip you had…and then you have to get up early!! 😦

    I get to sleep in. :mrgreen:

  9. Praise God for the love of a good man. I just told my husband the other day, “Honey, I need your love. I know I like you loving me, and I enjoy the nice things you do, but I really do need your love.” Humans do need love like this. We literally can’t do everything alone. Praise God for the love of husbands (and wives). Love you!

  10. Love unconditionally…
    Love that just is.
    Love that just does
    Love that is where ever
    Love that is whoever
    Love that is not because
    Love that never goes away
    Love that never stops
    Love that never asks
    Love that never masks
    Love that binds
    Love that is blind
    Love that lifts up
    Love that won’t let down
    Love when down
    Love Wide
    Love Deep
    Love Hi
    Love Low
    He loves you
    He loves you
    This Much…

    Love yo ya SIS

  11. I love this story Michelle. The power of true love amazes me. How it covers all things and sees the good. And the most amazing thing is that our God is LOVE.

  12. Wow so very triumphant of a love story. I seem to have some of these same issues and am not getting any younger.

    GOD is wonderful for all of these wonderful things he brings to us.

    I hope to share a story like this someday. But for now-just to know that- HE loves me and that’s enough.

    Thank you for sharing this..I loved it!!


  13. Michelle,

    Just stopping by to make sure you are doing ok? Didn’t see you around much today.

    Keep smiling and knowing the God of Love is holding you in his arms.

    Love to you sis

  14. Great inspiration, Carl! 😉

    Hey, Ripple! How was your weekend? I’m glad you liked my story. I’m much the same today as I was then, and God still loves me. And…Phat does too! 😉 Kind of scary sometimes how hard it is to mature, but it’s wonderful to have unconditional love.

    Hey, Ocean!! None of us are getting any younger. Like I said to Ripple, it’s hard. But He is patient with us and carefully leads us down the path of righteousness. Husbands are a wonderful gift, if they know how to live with a wife in an understanding way. So many can be terrors!!! I’m not kidding or bashing…just being honest. Wait, Ocean, to find the one who will love you sacrificially. Don’t settle. That’s my old lady advice!! 😀

  15. Uh, I think we’re sisters…LOL I love how God has taken me from there to here…and you too. I love all of you…..and yes you can throw a tantrum and I’ll come back the next day. Mistakes are part of life and you are a beautiful representation of how is can all turn out by turning to HIm. You are a strength in my life, and I love you.


  16. Oh, Debs!! Thank you for allowing a tantrum…I try to keep them under wraps but sometimes they just won’t stay down!!

    I’m enjoying you so much, Debs!! Can’t wait to see you in a couple of weeks! WOW. 😯 😉

  17. ANNIE!! How did you sneak in there!?!?

    Amen. Husbands who love unconditionally are a true blessing from the Lord! Then there are those Proverbs about having to live with a contentious woman… 😳

    It does cut both ways, huh? 😉

  18. Loving how your writing is so honest. I am a big fan of your blog already, starting with this post! 🙂

  19. Thank you, Tracie! How sweet of you. I’ve always loved your avatar, but Mandy’s post got me to come over today. We just may have quite a lot of shared thoughts. Welcome.

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